


Momma Nootmare

by HyperCircuit



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A fic in which I yeet all of many many headcannons about the bad boys at y'alls faces, All of the bad guys live in the main AU, Being Dumb, Crossover! For one chapter!, Cussing, Don't worry, Drinking, Gen, Humor, Killer Is A Rat, Kisses, Light-Hearted, Monika from DDLC will show up, None Of Us Know What The Fuck We're Doing, Okay so i said no shipping, RIP Carpet You Will Be Missed, Sometimes sweet fluff, Tasty, The gang will stick together :3, These bad boys might be evil, With my amazing friend Finally_Free!, a lot of cussing, because...reasons, but she's good, but thats okay bc we still love them, but uhh, christmas shenanigans, cuz yeah, dating fluff, ddlc - Freeform, dirty humor, drunk skeles, dumbass shenanigans, except Noot is their mother, except for as a joke, for flavor, funny interactions, i have no clue how to tag, mmmmmm, no sanscest, theres slight nightberry in the christmas chapter, they're like brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26567326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperCircuit/pseuds/HyperCircuit
Summary: You’ve heard of Momma CQ comic, right? The story of CQ taking care of her children?Yeah, that’s great and all, but have you heard of Momma Nootmare?The story of the King of Negativity taking care of HIS children?Yeah, I thought not. So sit down, buckle up, and let me tell you all about it.That was an order.
Relationships: Sans & Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 76





	1. Meet the cast

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Momma Nootmare!
> 
> This is a silly little sidestory I'm workin on alllll about our favorite bad guys :) There's gonna be fluff, idiots being idiots, DDLC, flustered skeles...all sorts of good stuff. 
> 
> This won't update as much as my other fics, just because its not going to go anywhere big. Its just a goofy lil thing.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or the like for the story, tell me down below!

The sun shines brightly over the cabin that houses Sans, his brother, and their extended family. 

Sans sits in the kitchen at the table, watching his brother cook.

“YOU SEE, SANS, I FOUND THIS RECIPE ON THE HUMAN INTERNET! YOU DRAIN THE NOODLES BEFORE ADDING THE SAUCE! THAT WAY, IT’S NOT AS WATERY AS IT WAS BEFORE!” Papyrus explains as he drains the pasta.

“huh,” sans remarks. “water you do after that?”

“THEN YOU… SANS! WAS THAT A PUN?”

Sans winks, his permanent grin widening. “maybe. or maybe i’m just an… im-pasta.”

“SAAAAAAANS!!”

“aww, bro, you love me.”

“VERY TRUE. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAKE BAD PUNS AND DRINK KETCHUP, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.”

“same here.”

Up above them, playing in his room is Blueberry, or Blue for short. The short blue skeleton kneels on the floor as he plays with his action figures. While he narrates his epic quest, his brother Stretch lays on his bed, watching the scene.

As the climax of the saga reaches maximum epic-ness, Stretch fondly watches his brother voice all of the characters with great zeal.

The story ends. Knight Blue the Magnificent rescues his princess, and all is well. With a huff and a tired smile, Blue sits back.

“you’re so cool, bro,” Stretch states.

Blue grins. “MWEH-HEH-HEH! YOU’RE CORRECT THERE, BROTHER! THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE IS THE COOLEST! BUT DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT! YOU’RE RATHER AWESOME TOO!”

Stretch smiles with a wink. “awww, thanks, bro. i love you.”

“I LOVE YOU TOO!”

Meanwhile in the garage, Edge pounds at his creation with a heavy hammer. Red enters with a plate. 

“got ya some food, boss.”

Edge turns and drops his hammer on the worktable. 

“AHH YES, GOOD JOB BROTHER. I MUST STAY ENERGIZED AND HEALTHY!” Edge says, taking the plate of food from Red.

“you got it bro. whatcha workin on anyway?”

The tall skeleton grins . “I'M CONSTRUCTING MORE SPIKES FOR THE SPIKE PIT! THEY MUST BE SHARPER THAN MY WIT, AND HEAVY ENOUGH TO KNOCK THE FOOL WHO FELL IN UNCONSCIOUS! FORTUNATELY, I,THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE EDGE, IS A MASTER OF METALWORK! I’LL FINISH THE SPIKES IN NO TIME!”

“ya think anyone will fall into em? i mean, if this world is as sissy as classic says, i don’t think anyone will try to break in.”

“WELL, I MUST BE PREPARED JUST IN CASE. AND IF ANYONE DOES BREAK IN… WELL… WE’LL WATCH EACH OTHERS BACKS, CORRECT?”

Red nods. “we’ll watch each other's backs. we make a good team, boss.”

“WE SURE DO! NYAH HAH HAH HAH!”

Back in the house, in a room near the attic, an artist stands before his easel. He cocks his head to the side and steps back, scrutinizing his work. The door opens and in walks a short skeleton with bright eyes, carrying a tray.

“Hiya, Dream!” The artist says.

The short yellow skeleton sets the tray on the table. “Have you eaten today, Ink?”

Ink grins. “Nope!”

Dream sighs exasperatedly, but a small smile hints that he isn't angry.

“Eat, Ink.”

“Okay!”

As the artistic skeleton digs into his meal, Dream studies the painting before him.

“This is really nice, Ink!” He hesitates. “What is it?”

“I don’t know yet!” Ink says excitedly, waving his hand around. “I’ll figure that out later!”

Dream catches his friend’s hand with a stern glare.

“Ink. Care to tell me what happened to your pinky?”

Ink grins. “Remember my set of rotary carvers? Well, turns out they can saw through bone!”

Ink shoves more food into his face, oblivious to Dream’s concern. “Can you fix that sometime soon? It kinda hurts.”

“Kinda?” Dream exclaims incredulously. “Ink, your entire pinky is missing!”

Ink snorts. “That’s nothin’. I snapped my wrist last week! It still feels weird.” He hums. “Huh. That’s probably why I can’t feel my pinky now.”

“You can’t feel it because it’s not there!” Dream says hotly, beginning to heal Ink’s wrist. “You’re lucky I’m here to fix you up all the time. Without me you’d probably be a jigsaw puzzle.”

Ink laughs. “Wow, that’d be cool!”

Dream’s face softens as he heals, and he laughs.

“If I was a jigsaw puzzle…” Ink begins.

“Don’t you even dare.”

“Fine…” Ink pouts.

They both are silent for a moment before bursting into laughter, the absurdity of their situation making them chortle. Our camera zooms out as the friends laugh for a little longer before promising to watch a movie together. 

Meanwhile, way back in the woods, there's a cabin. A large cabin. Filled with more skeletons. What's happening in this cabin? How are these skeletons interacting? Are they as sweet to each other here?

“WHO THE FUCK ATE MY SANDWICH!?!?!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOOTMARE, I’M PLAYING KIRBY SUPER STAR.”

“YOU HAVEN'T BEATEN THAT YET? HOW FUCKING WEAK ARE YOU? YOU WERE ON THAT LEVEL LAST WEEK!”

“WELL KING DEDEDE IS A BADASS, OKAY?”

Suddenly a knife is embedded in the couch right next to Cross, who looks at it with disinterest, before turning back to his phone.

Killer rushes down the stairs, a silky white cat in one arm, the other still raised from throwing the knife. “Guys, you’re too loud! Duchess was trying to sleep! You know she needs her beauty rest!”

“Yeah, Nightmare. Duchess needs her beauty sleep,” Dust sassily says, turning back to his game. “So quit bitching about sandwiches, ya fuck.”

“Does that mean she was taking a catnap?” Cross asks in a bored voice, not looking up from his phone.

Dust snorts.

Nightmare scoffs. “Reason thirty-eight why i should kill Cross, aside, WHO. ATE. MY. SANDWICH?”

“If I told you it was the cat, would you get off my back?” Dust says, mashing at his controller furiously.

“Duchess wouldn't eat your garbage! She only eats cream cheese and duck pate! ” Killer says in an offended tone. He looks down at the cat, who purrs happily. “Nothin but the best for my little baby.”

“I bet it was Axe. He eats anything,” Cross says.

“Am i being slandered?” Axe pokes his head in from the window.

“Nah, we were just sayin you’d eat anything.”

Axe nods. “True. That is, if that stupid cat doesn't eat it all.” He glares at the offending cat, who sits smugly in Killer's arms, resting bitch face equipped.

Killer gasps.”You did not just insult my precious child.”

“I think I did,” Axe says, grinning.

“Do you wanna take this outside, fucker? Square up, hoe.”

“Nah, I’m busy right now. I’m in the middle of a turf war with the possums. They keep trying to get the garbage, but that’s mine,” Axe states simply.

Everyone is silent as they contemplate this.

“Who’s winning?” Cross asks, boredly scrolling through his phone.

“The possums,” Axe mutters. “But I’ll get my revenge soon. I’ll take the queen’s head and mount it on a pike so that they know who’s boss!”

“Tell me more, Axe,” Dust says, mocking interest.

Axe doesn't get the sarcasm.

“Well, there’s this really fat one that I worked with for a while-”

“That’s not a nice way to talk about Error,” Cross remarks, earning a snort from Dust.

Axe continues. “I traded information with him for a while, but he betrayed me! So now,” he chuckles evilly. “He’s on my list.”

Silence again.

Nightmare stomps his foot, tentacles writhing. “Jokes aside, who ate my fucking sandwhich?”

“I bet it was the possums,” Axe declares. “They’re taking a hostage! Don’t worry, Momma Nootmare! I’ll get it back! Along with the head of the traitor! ”he pops his head back outside.

“What? I don’t want- Ugh, forget it!” Nightmare stomps back to the kitchen

The brief silence that follows is broken by the sounds of an angry shout, and a large crash. Tinkling glass falls to the carpet as Dust yells at the now broken TV.

“Gotcha, Dedede! Ya dumbass penguin! How do ya like that BONE in yer face?”

Cross looks up. “Another TV, Dust? That’s the third one!”

The door suddenly swings open. Error stomps in, drops his haversack on the floor and sinks into the couch before groaning loudly.

“Lose to Ink, again, ey Ruru?” Cross teases.

“What the fuck happened to the TV?” Error asks, looking at the glowing red bone protruding from the screen.

“King Dedede was being a bitch,” Dust pouts.

Error sagely nods before lifting his hand and opening a portal. Suddenly, a shiny TV falls onto the floor.

“Sweet!” Dust exclaims, running over to it. “Ooh! A flatscreen! Where’d you get this, Error?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. Red owes me a favor anyway. Anything note-worthy happen while I was away?”

“Away getting your ass kicked by Ink, you mean?” Cross smirks.

Error knocks Cross’ head with his hand. Cross laughs.

Dust hums as he starts up his game. Surprisingly good with electronics, he had set up the TV in no time at all. He loads a save, and begins as he speaks.

“Nothin noteworthy. Nootmare got pissy about a sandwich. Axe told us about his ‘turf war’, and Killer is a dumb bitch.”

“Hey!” comes an annoyed call from upstairs.

Seconds of comfortable silence pass.

“Nootmare!” Dust whines.

“Yeah?” The leader of the bad Sans’ pokes his head out of the kitchen.

“You beat Kirby Super Star, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How do you beat Dedede?”

“Hmmm…” Nightmare cocks his head. “That information is pricey. The price being information about the whereabouts of a certain sandwich.”

“I already told you I don’t know! But I’ll make you one if you beat Dedede,” Dust bargains.

Nightmare walks into the living room and takes the controller. Two minutes pass and the boss is defeated, leaving Dust shocked.

“How did- wha- How did you-”

“Sheer skill. And about two hundred retries on my first time.” Nightmare pats Dust on the head. “Don’t worry young one, soon you’ll be fucking up penguins all on your own.”

Dust snorts as his boss leaves the room. “Kinky.”

Error, done with his friend's bullshit, swings his arm out to the side, successfully whacking him across the face.  
.  
.  
.

Nightmare stomps down the stairs, grumbling to himself as he wipes the sleep from his eye. Cross sits on the couch, playing some sort of video game. He barely glances at his boss before turning back to the game. He, and all the bad guys know better than to talk to Nightmare before he’s had at least 3 cups of coffee. And after the 6th, he’s actually ready to start the day.

At 1:46 in the evening.

Yeah, their schedule is wack.

Killer pets Duchess as he scrolls through his phone. He suddenly snorts.

“Hey asshole, look at this meme.”

Cross glances at Killer’s phone before snickering. “Dude, that's fucked up.”

Nightmare stomps into the room, a cup of coffee in each hand. He sits on the couch before muttering to Cross. “Get everyone in here. We need to have a meeting.”

Cross pauses his game before calling up the stairs. “Error! Dust! Get your asses down here. House meeting.”

Error walks down the stairs, looking at his phone. He sits in a loveseat. A few seconds later, Dust jumps from the top stair to the bottom one. 

Nightmare looks around before calling. 

“Axe!”

“Huh?” the call comes from outside.

“Get your ass in here!”

A sharp red axe flies through the window, embedding itself in the wall.

“I SAID ASS! NOT AXE!”

“Oop! Sorry boss!”

Through the window comes Axe, a derpy smile on his face.

“Hi boss.”

Nightmare tries not to smile as he reprimands Axe. “Axe, you can’t keep breaking our windows. Classic is already pissed about the last two.”

“What’s this meeting about?” Cross asks, nimble fingers moving deftly across the controller.

“Well, I got a text from Classic.”

Various groans sound from across the room.

“Right? I had the same reaction,” Nightmare says, pulling out his phone. “So he says that we’re spending to much money on takeout, and that we need to start cooking on our own food for some stupidass reason.”

Various groans from everyone but Axe, who claps his hands happily.

“What did you send him back, boss?” Cross asks.

Nightmare flashes his phone at Cross. On the screen is a picture of Nightmare’s middle finger.

Cross snickers.

“So anyway…” The leader of the bad guys continues. “I left him on read for a while, but then I thought, ‘hey, why not use this opportunity to have a bonding experience! So we’re all cooking. Get your asses in the kitchen.”  
.  
.  
.  
“AXE! STOP EATING HANDFULS OF FLOUR!”

“Momma Nootmare! It’s tasty!”

“How are you even eating it? It should be impossible”

“I ‘unno. The same way I’m eating this sugar, i guess.” The skeleton shoves his hand into a jar of sugar.

“Why did we think it’s be a good idea to bring Axe into a kitchen?”

“Get off the fucking counter, Cross. You can’t just sit there and glare at us the entire time.”

“Can too.”

Nightmare looks up. “Now Wh- Error? How did you get on the fridge?”

“Magic~”

“Where did Dust go?”

“He slipped out when you weren't looking. I think he didn't want to wear an apron.”

“Wh- What’s wrong with our aprons?”

Cross looks down at his frilly pink apron with a death glare. “Gee, I don’t know.”

Error snorts. “I destroyed mine as soon as I got it.”

“I like my apron!” Killer announces, jumping into the room. He has the frilly apron on backwards, so now it hangs behind him like a cape. The cape flutters in the non-existent wind.

Cross frowns. “Of course you would. You wear all kinds of dumb shit.”

“Do not!”

“Yeah, you kinda do. Remember the bean suit? And the yandere skirt?” Cross ticks off his fingers, as if counting off his friends dumb actions.

Killer blushes dark blue, embarrassed. He recovers quickly, flipping his cape. “Well at least I don’t wear bright pink feather boas.”

Error looks up suddenly. “Hey! That was one time!”

Nightmare adjusts his apron. The pink is eye-scorching against his black and cyan frame. “Error’s fashion sense aside, someone go get Dust. I don’t care how you do it, just get him in here.”

Axe drops the flour jar before leaping out of the room, yelling. “DIBS!”  
.  
.  
.  
The bad Sans’ all gather in the kitchen, half of them crowded around a sheet of paper, the other half standing around a bowl. Nightmare holds the recipe, reading aloud.

“Its says ½ of a teaspoon of salt. Thats a stupid measurement. Put in a whole.”

“Got it!” Axe dumps a bunch of salt into the mixing bowl. “Now what?”

“Baking soda?” Killer reads, scratching at his chin. “What’s that?”

“Probably just normal soda,” Nightmare guesses. “Anyone have any?”

“I do,” Dust raises a hand. “I have root beer upstairs. I like to cover up the ‘root’ part whenever the star Sans’ show up. It makes em upset.”

“Go get it then. We’ll need a teaspoon.”

As Dust teleports away, Cross squints at the paper. “A teaspoon? That’s a spoon used to stir tea, right? But we don’t drink tea.”

“Yeah,” Error agrees, shredding a napkin into pieces. “They should’ve said coffeespoon.”

“But then what’s a tablespoon?” Killer questions.

“Obviously a spoon used to stir tables, duh,” Axe reasons, shaking his head.

“How the fuck does one stir a table?”

“I ‘unno. Maybe it's for wacking tables. Like, you get the spoon,” Axe picks up a spoon, before hitting the counter. “And then ya wack it.”

“But that’s a counter.”

Before they could talk more, Dust pops into the room, several bottles in his hands. “It turns out I drank all of the root beer. Will actual beer work?”

Nightmare shrugs and takes a bottle. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t.”

“You have BEER?” Error questions angrily, starting to glitch. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Cuz then you would drink it, duh. I was saving it for something special.”

Suddenly Nightmare gasps, single cyan eye widening as he stares at the recipe. “Makes twenty eight cookies?! My babies don’t need that much sugar! Cut the recipe in half!”

Shing!

The recipe in Nightmare’s hands is now cleaved in two, and Cross puts his knife away, obviously proud of himself.

Nightmare stares for a moment, before sighing. “Not sure what else I expected.”

“Momma Nootmare, look!”

Nightmare looks at Axe, who has flour all over himself. “I got it all stirred!” The bowl, containing only flour, sugar and salt, is a mess, but all blended.

“Good job, Axe. Now, I don’t know what to do next, because the recipe is kinda chopped in half, so lets just wing it.”

Dust snorts. “Cause that’s gonna end well.”

Killer fluffs his apron proudly. “Oh please, with these aprons? Nothing could go wrong!”

“Look Momma Nootmare I can make a flour angel!”

Error stares into the camera like a character on The Office.  
.  
.  
.  
“They’re…”

Dust trails off, staring in horror at the burnt and blackened pan before him. The cookies, stuck to the pan, are almost a solid mass of burnt. A stray flame flickers down before dying, its ashes falling on a cookie.

“AMAZING!” Axe enthuses, jumping up and down. He grabs one, the cookie almost the consistency of charcoal. Biting into it, a loud crunch is heard, making everyone wince.

“Just imagine if the oven hadn’t short circuited. Then we could've cooked them for the intended time,” Error says dryly, an amused smirk pulling at his face.

“What are they like, Axe?” Killer questions, obviously too afraid to try them.

“Hmm…” Axe hums, crunching. He finishes the cookie, before stating. “They’re abso-fucking-lutely disgusting. I’ll take another.”

As he reaches for another, Nightmare shrugs. “Welp. We can tell Classic we tried. Who wants take out?”

As the group cheers, Killer pumps his fist. “While we eat, can we play the new game I got?”

Nightmare pulls out his phone and gets a menu. “Yeah. What’s the game?”

Axe carries the tray of cookies with him before jumping on the couch. “Yeah! What is it?”

“It’s called...Doki Doki Literature Club.”


	2. Let's DDL see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello~
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:
> 
> DDLC. SUICIDE MENTION. DEATH. MONIKA FROM DDLC. CUSSING. ECT.
> 
> Stay safe y'all.
> 
> (Also, if you haven't heard of/watched/played DDLC and you don't want spoilers, don't read the chapter. I don't want to spoil anything for you)

“This looks fucking stupid.”

All of the bad guys are cuddled up under a fluffy blanket. Killer sits in the front, laptop on his lap. He selects a name (Basic Hoe), before starting.

After pressing select, Killer glares at the speaker, Error. “Oh shut up, Error. I heard it was cute.”

With a groan from the glitchy skeleton the game begins.

Sayori is introduced. “Heyyyyyyy!” the pink haired girl calls, running into frame.

“Awww, she’s cute!” Dust coos, leaning forward from his perch on the arm rest.

“I overslept again!” she laments. “Oh girl same!” Dust whispers.

“But I caught you this time!” Sayori cheers, proud of herself.

“Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for you,” the main character says sassily.

“That’s mean, Basic Hoe!” Sayori whines, earning a snort from just about everyone on the couch.

Together with Sayori, the main character makes his way to school. Sayori asks the main character what club he wants to join.

“Do they have a hunting club?” Axe questions, chomping on a cookie.

“Dumbass, why would they have a hunting club?” Error snorts, pulling his knitting supplies out of his pouch.

Sayori bribes MC with cupcakes, and he agrees to check out the literature club.

“And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake,” MC remarks, causing Axe to gasp. “I would do that!”

“Yes dear,” Nightmare absentmindedly says, patting Axe on the head. “Killer, this shit seems stupid.”

“It is not! Look, there’s more cute anime babes!”

Natsuki, Yuri and Monika are introduced. “Gasp! More anime waifus!” Dust exclaims.

“Did he just say gasp?” Axe mutters.

The girls bicker. The bad guys do too. Dust likes Sayori the best. He claims that she’s the cutest, to which most of the skeletons disagree, each insisting their own favorite is cuter. Killer and Cross like Yuri, and Axe likes Natsuki’s baking ability.

Things escalate. Pointy things are taken out of sheathes and tensions rise. Eyes start glowing in various different colors, and the anime girls continue to squabble.

Aside from the waifu wars the game continues, and Nightmare and Error are starting to get bored. Error has already made a pair of mittens, and Nightmare’s tentacles are twitching irately.

Nightmare suddenly sighs.

“Is it gonna pick up at all?” He squints a single cyan eye at the screen.

“I don’t know! I've heard this game is freaky!” Killer presses more buttons, pouting.

“The only freaky thing here is her skirt length.”

“I dunno bout you boss, but I like the skirt lengths.” Dust snickers.

“You would.”

“This is so fucking boring,” Error grumbles.

“No! I think it’s gonna get better!” Axe states, watching the girls on screen.

“It had better,” Nightmare pouts.

As Killer dramatically reads through dialogue, the rest of the gang looks on in either excitement or boredom. 

“Aww, poor Sayori…” Dust whispers as the gang learns of Sayori’s depression. She runs away.

“We should go visit her,” Axe says, concern lacing his voice.

“Ugh.” Nightmare groans. “Its gonna get all feeling-sy and shit.”

_ POOF! _

“Heeeeyo broskis, what it do?”

Fresh stands in the middle of the room, waving away the remaining colorful cloud that announced his arrival. 

“Fresh!” Cross cheers.

“Yo yo yo, I was just wonderin’ what my best bro squad of homies was up to this fine day! What ya up to?”

“Playing a game,” Killer distractedly answers. 

“Which ga- oh no.”

The bad guys look up in response to Fresh’s exclamation. “What’s wrong?”

“Is...is that Doki Doki?” His normally loud voice is quiet.

“Umm...yeah? We were just about to visit Sayori at her house and then go see Monika.”

“NOPE! Sorry bros, I decided that I have to go like, right now! Nope! Nope! Outta here! Bye bros!”

With that, he leaves. Another rainbow cloud appears and he’s gone.

As the gang squints in confusion, Cross’s phone chimes. He checks it.

**Freshyboi- don’t. trust. monika.**

Cross shows it to them. “Uhh…”

“What does  _ that _ mean? Monika is super nice!” Axe tilts his head. 

“Ehh, it’s probably nothing. This is just a boring dating sim, after all. It won’t pick up,” Nightmare reasons. 

Killer sighs. “I guess...should we turn it off then?”

“No, lets see Sayori first! I don’t want to leave her upset!” Dust takes the laptop.

“Ugh. Fine. We’ll get all mushy mushy with Sayori and we’re turning it off and playing a  _ real _ man's game.”

“Which one’s that, boss?”

“Mario Kart.”

“Oh fuck yes.”

Cross puts away his phone and pulls his fuzzy blanket closer. “Well then let's finish up this boring ass game so I can beat Error’s ass.”

“Hey!”

“Guys...Fresh looked pretty spooked...Are we worried about that?”

“Nah… He was just pullin’ our legs. This game couldn’t be bad.”

.

.

.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“QUIT SCREAMING LIKE A GIRL!”

“MOMMA NOOTMARE I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL!”

“I MISS SAYORI! I WISH SHE WAS ALIVE!”

“Pick Monika!” Error excitedly says, pointing at the choice box. 

“NO WHY WOULD WE PICK HER?! SHE KILLED SAYORI!”

“PICK NATSUKI! SHE’S THE ONLY NORMAL ONE LEFT!”

“OH SHIT OH FUCK OH FUCKING SHIT WHAT DO-”

“CLICK MONIKA!”

“NO! SHE’S NOT BEST GIRL! THAT’S YURI!”

“YURI IS A BITCH. CLICK MONIKA.”

“Boys! Calm down!” Nightmare brings a hand up to his forehead and sighs. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Who do we choose?” Killer hovers a mouse over the three options. The girls wait patiently in the background. “ I don’t want another jumpscare.”

“Monika!” Error points at the girl. “Look how perfect she is!”

“Bro, you’re simping,” Cross reprimands, hiding deeper into his fuzzy blanket.

“I’m not simping…” he dreamily says, tracing the outline of Monika’s face.

“Why would you want Monika!! She’s the reason Sayori is gone!” Dust exclaims hotly.

“She’s perfect…”

“SHE’S GONNA KILL THE OTHER GIRLS!”

“Guys, who do we choose? I think we’re running out of time.”

“Monika!” Error cheers.

“NO!”

Nightmare grabs the laptop. “I’ll choose!” He selects Yuri. “There. Best girl picked.”

“Bosss!!! Monika’s better!”’

“GUYS HOW ARE YOU NOT AFRAID OF MONIKA.”

“Cause she’s cute.”

“Shut up Error!”

Yuri confesses her love for them before killing herself, making the couch once again full of screeching and/or intrigued skeletons. They stare at the screen with a mixture of confusion and horror before the screen glitches and goes dark.

“Error, was that you making the screen glitch?”

The glitchy skeleton shakes his head.

The bad guys are silent as the game starts up again.

“Maybe Natsuki will be okay? ”Axe reassures the group.

.

.

.

“SHE’S NOT OKAY SHE’S NOT OKAY BOSS BOSS WHAT DO WE DO- EEK!”

The screen goes dark once more, leaving only the memory of Natsuki with her neck snapped. The bad guys are all huddled under a blanket, silent as they try to comprehend what happened.

“Uhh…”

The bright and chipper music starts anew, and the glitched sprites of the Doki’s together on the screen make most of the skeletons freeze up.

“I think we can all agree that this game is the devil and needs to be stopped.”

Various hums of agreement, with just a few contradictory ones. Those being from Error and Nightmare.

The game glitches again, sending the MC to a large room with nothing inside but Monika. The windows of the room show nothing but fire scrolling lazily by as the girl smiles at the camera.

“I don’t like this one bit,” Cross mutters.

The game continues. Monika talks to them, both unnerving and intriguing the skeletons on the couch. Every time she says something deep or talks about her own game, the skeletons tense up, with one or two hurried swears thrown about.

When Killer finally finds that he can delete Monika, he jumps on the chance, ignoring Error’s and Nightmare’s protests.

Some glitching and dialogue later, the screen goes dark, and the game closes itself for good.

The room is quiet before Error speaks.

“Okay, so can we just all agree that Monika is THE COOLEST EVER?! LOOK AT THE WAY SHE ENDED THOSE DIRTY GLITCHES!”

Nightmare smirks as everyone else stays silent.

“Lets….just like...not ever play that again,” Dust suggests. Killer and Cross emphatically agree.

Axe shivers. “Hey Momma Noot?”

“Hmm?”

“You know how when you watch something scary, you then watch something funny to take your mind off of it?”

“Mhmm.”

“...can we do that?”

“Yeah, let's do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any ideas for future chapters, comments, concerns, praise, ect, then tell me down below! I'd love to hear feedback :)
> 
> Want to see Killer in his yandere skirt and bean suit?
> 
> https://hypercircuitao3.tumblr.com/post/629822342602866688/killer-in-his-bean-suit-and-yandere-skirt-rocks
> 
> Prepare to have your mind blown ;)


	3. Puppy Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any scenes you'd like to see, tell me :D

Everyone sits in the living room, each occupied by their own phone or game. Killer and Cross run in, each cursing up a storm as they breathe heavily. 

“Guys we have a problem!” Killer waves his arms around.

No one looks up. 

“What is it now?” Nightmare says, slightly annoyed.

“Okay, so remember that time that Cross and I made Axe a Tinder account as a joke?”

Axe chokes while drinking. “Wait, what?” 

Everyone else nods.

“Well, “ Cross fidgets with his hands. “Some girl found his account… and now we have to get Axe ready for a date in 3 hours.”

“WHAT.”

“Well, we thought she was just joking! So we played along… and now she wants to meet.”

Nightmare stares into space. “A date? With my little boy?”

Axe is choking. 

Dust is laughing.

Killer looks down at his phone before yelping. “Guys! We have two hours and fifty-eight minutes!”

Nightmare snaps out of his thoughts and pounds one hand with a fist.

“Then we have to make you look good! Let’s go, Axe.”

Axe is dragged to Nightmare’s room.

For the next two hours, everyone fusses over him. He’s changed into several outfits, before Nightmare settles on a dark blue hoodie with the Deltarune symbol on it. A gray beanie is pulled over the crack on his skull, and he wears dark jeans. Axe fidgets with his sleeve while Nightmare talks.

“Now, while you’re there, PLEASE don’t talk about hunting, or...dead animals in general, okay?”

“Yes Momma Nootmare.”

“And be neat! Don’t eat messily.”

“Sure thing, Momma Nootmare.”

“Oh, and Axe?” Nightmare grabs Axe by the shoulders.

“If you even  _ think  _ about letting her pay for anything, I will be  _ very  _ disappointed in you. You are a  _ gentleman _ . Be. Fucking. Chivalrous.”

He pulls Axe in for a hug. “Oh, my little boy is going on a date!”

.

.

.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Monika says, resting her arms on the table. “After seeing your profile, and talking to you over text, I was sort of intrigued, to be honest.” She laughs. “I mean, not many people put ‘am baby’ on their Tinder profile.”

“U-uhh…” Axe looks at his phone, which sits on the table, before quietly reading out loud. “Say… something.... Idiot…”

He looks up. “M-meet nice to you too?”

She laughs again.

“So… Axe, tell me about yourself! Do you have any family?”

Axe once again looks at his phone. “U-um… I have … some cousins?”

“Ooh! That’s nice! What are they like?”

“They’re all bastards.”

Monika laughs. 

He looks at his phone before reading out loud. “You...idiot… don’t cuss...in... front of... your date?” He suddenly looks up and his eye widens. “Oh shit! Aw fuck- dammit!” He slaps a hand over his mouth, further stifling any curses.

Monika snorts. Axe stares, hand clasped over his mouth. She finally calms down. “I gotta say, Axe: you’re pretty entertaining.”

“Is...that a good thing?”

“I’d say so,” Monika says with a giggle, picking up her cup of ice cream. The ice cream was her choice. Axe had no idea where to go for a date. Luckily, Monika had read enough fanfiction, and played enough dating sims for the both of them. She suggested that they go to the Nice Cream Man’s shop. The Nice Cream Man, who had finally got tired of using a cart, opened the first ever monster owned ice cream parlor. It’s doing very well. Most of its customers are young couples going on first dates. How fitting.

Axe looks down to his phone. “Oh! Cross sent me a meme!” He shows it to Monika from across the table.

It’s a cat with a goofy smile on its face. It’s caption is ‘When you embarrass yourself on your first date.’

Monika giggles as Axe stares at it, face blank. “Huh, i wonder what that means.”

“Umm… I feel like I should ask,” Monika starts, still giggling quietly. “How can...your friends see us on our date?”

Axe shrugs and sets his phone on the table. He picks up his ice cream cup. “Weird creepy stalker magic. I don’t know,” he says nonchalantly.

Monika looks around for a hidden camera, looking confused when she finds nothing.

“Are they watching now?”

Axe looks at his phone. “Yeah. Dust says you’re cute.”

Monika tilts her head, a small smile forming on her face. “Thaaaank him?”

Axe nods before tapping at his phone. A brief notification pops up on the phone, only to be ignored by Axe as he taps away.

“So…” Monika starts, picking up her ice cream. “Hmmm… I’m trying to think of conversation…”

She closes her eyes in concentration before they widen. 

“Oh! Do you have any hobbies, Axe?”

Axe looks up from his phone and tilts his head to the side. “Hobbies?” 

She smiles excitedly. “Yeah! Like… I like to write! And I’m also really into video games. I like anime too. What about you?”

Axe blanks before turning to his phone again. Monika awkwardly messes with her cup.

Suddenly Axe brightens. “I hunt!”

“Oh!” Monika says, clapping her hands. “Really! I used to hunt with my dad! I remember he got me my own hatchet when i was small… I kept that for so long…” she smiles wistfully.

“A hatchet…” Axe whispers, awe filling his voice,” That’s just a baby axe…”

“Can’t say I’ve ever thought of it that way…” she says thoughtfully. “But I guess that’s right!”

Another look at Axe’s phone, and the skeleton speaks. “Oh, I’m supposed to ask- do you? Do? The stuff?”

“The stuff?”

“Yanno, things, things… the things you just said,” he hesitates, before blurting out. “A job!”

“Oh!” she laughs. “Yes. I work at the small bakery on main street! It’s a nice job. My boss is pretty great.”

Axe nods, before looking at his phone once more.

Monika tilts her head. “Are your friends giving you advice?”

Axe mumbles an affirmative. “Well, kinda. Dust’s just being inappropriate and Error’s being sarcastic. Cross keeps sending memes. Killer and Momma Nootmare are the only ones actually helping.”

“Can I make a statement? And I hope I’m not being too forward here...” Axe looks up and nods.

“You’re absolutely adorable,” she states.

Axe freezes up. Suddenly a look of complete and utter panic crosses his features. “Uhhhhhhh momma Nootmare momma Nootmare help me!” He snatches his phone off the table and begins to type fast.

“Oh, now you’re blushing! Oh that’s so cute!!!!!”

Axe makes a long flustered noise as he types.

Monika smugly takes a spoonful of ice cream, obviously proud of herself.

Axe looks up, suddenly determined. 

“Dust says I should fight back. Sooooo…”

Monika sets her ice cream down and intertwines her fingers, resting her chin on them. 

He flusters again, cheekbones flushing and eye light darting back and forth rapidly.

“Y-you...u-uhh… h-have eyes?”

She tilts her head. “So do you. Would you call your eye a crimson or a blood red? Either way it’s gorgeous. “

A brief moment of triumph passes across his face at the subject change. “Well, i've been told it’s like a scarlet, but-” he suddenly stops. “oh, you were flirting.  _ oh momma nootmare she’s still at it what do i do-” _

More exchanges like this follow; with Axe getting flustered and Monika taking every opportunity she could find to make the skeleton blush.

The pair continue to talk as time passes, with Nightmare and the bad guys feeding Axe topics to bring up and responses to say.

Axe looks to his phone again, hoping for a new conversation starter. When he starts to type, a notification popping up makes him panic.

Monika calmly watches her date text rapidly, sipping at her drink.

“Guysguys the phone is dying! I need your advice! I can’t continue alone! What do I do?”

From her side of the table, she can see the flurry of texts appear on his phone. The top ones seem to say ‘ABORT ABORT’.

Axe begins to read aloud again. “Dust says to jump out of a window.” He looks up. “Would you suspect anything if I jumped out of a window?”

“Yes.”

“Dammit, she’s too smart-” Back to his phone he goes, quickly typing out messages.

Monika smirks at his flustered state. She’s having a grand time watching him flounder. 

The battery counter slowly ticks down, adn Axe slowly becomes more and more frazzled. 

Finally the counter ticks to zero, and the screen goes black. The last message flashing across the screen being one of encouragement, with a hint of a threat.

.

.

.

The bad guys sit on the couch nervously. Axe’s phone had died half an hour ago, and there’s been no sign of him since.

Finally after a few rounds of de-stressing Mario kart, the door swings open and in walks Axe, almost in a daze.

In a flash the bad guys are surrounding him, questioning the skeleton on how the rest of the date went.

“Did she say anything? What did she say?”

Axe looks shocked. “She said that I was strangely endearing and that she wanted to see me again.”

Gasps of surprise from everyone except Nightmare, who scoffs. “Well duh. You’re like a morbidly adorable puppy. Who wouldn’t like you?”

“What did you answer to that?” Killer asks excitedly.

“The only positive thing that came to mind…” 

“Which was?”

“...happy birthday.”

A groan from Cross and Error. Dust and Killer give excited thumbs ups. “What did she say to that?”

Axe pulls up his jacket sleeve, exposing his arm, on which is written in marker a series of numbers. 

“She laughed and said I was perfect. Whatever that means. But she wrote numbers on my arms, soooo…”

Dust cheers. “You did it!”

“Because of our fantastic advice, of course,” Nightmare smugly grins.

“I-I have a bae now…” Axe seems to still be in shock.

“Heck yeah you do!” Killer whoops, slapping Axe on the back. “Good one, Axe!”

Axe only smiles bashfully. “I have a bae…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Axe texts his brother from across the state- lol i sorta have a waifu now i need your dating manuals  
> *The next day a package arrives and its just a bigass box of books that they dump over his head*  
> Axe-...  
> Axe- neat :D


	4. Non-Canon Christmas Collab Crossover!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU POOR DEPRIVED BABIES I HAVE FAILED YOU 
> 
> I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT UPDATED SINCE O C T O B E R AHHHHHHHH
> 
> IM SORRRRRYYYYY
> 
> *shoves this 16,000+ words chapter at you*
> 
> Maybe this can make up for my wrongdoing TwT
> 
> Okay, so info on the chapter-
> 
> This is a crossover with my amazing friend Finally_Free and her story Midnight Snacks! We took the main characters from it and combined them with Momma Nootmare's chaotic family and boom! A fuckton of words!
> 
> Finally_Free's fic- https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027845?view_full_work=true
> 
> *This chapter is not canon for Momma Nootmare's storyline*
> 
> Considering Monika hasn't even met the rest in person, this technically would be a future chapter? idfk XD 
> 
> If you don't like shipping, feel free to skip this chapter
> 
> Anyway, read and enjoy! And Merry Gyftmas!

_In three separate rooms are three different people typing stuff down on their computers, talking to one another. The human sends something that makes the humanoid cat monster and the hybrid laugh. They seem to be doing something important. Or maybe not. Maybe they are just bored._

_“Are we really doing this..?” The hybrid asks, trying her hardest to not laugh._

_“Yes! I want to confuse the hell out of all of them!” The human claims._

_The Hybrid rolls her eyes but continues typing on the computer, trying to figure out how they are going to do something like this. “Isn’t this the exact opposite of our jobs?”_

_“Don’t complain, you’re the one who agreed to do this!”_

_“Well yeah but like, can we get in trouble for this?” The hybrid is the youngest of the three, she hasn’t been doing the job for very long._

_“...probably?” The human had been doing this longer than the hybrid, but was no expert. Still, she did her job almost perfectly. Usually. Then there are times where she does stuff like this._

_And the monster? “Come on, breaking the law is funnnn!” She was the oldest and the smartest out of the three, yet they don’t actually know what she does._

_The three of them don’t exactly work together, considering the fact they are from three completely separate dimensions. “Yes, please let me commit arson!”_

_“Yes," the human replies._

_After a little while longer of talking, they finally decide on a plan. With the magic of Christmas cheer (aka their computers) they start their plan.  
_

**_~In another timeline...~_ **

Blue is walking with Nightmare, looking out at the garden Nightmare was leading him through. his kids- The bad guys were all laughing at him on their way out, making him a bit confused. But whatever, he was just happy to be spending time with his soulmate.

Nightmare was nervous but looked calm on the outside, his tentacles are flicking around a lot and sometimes make little hearts behind him. He was going to do it, he was going to tell Blue how he feels and maybe...he might kiss Blue like he wanted too in the pillow room.

He hums happily as he looks around, and finally back at Nightmare. He looks calm, yet being this close to him, he could feel other emotions from him. Nervousness. He wonders why he's so nervous. "YOUR GARDEN IS REALLY PRETTY! I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT YOU GUYS HAD SUCH A PLACE."

"Thank you, I tend to it myself if I feel stressed. I seem to have a ‘thing’ about plants as Killer says."

"I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. CERTAIN THINGS LIKE THIS ARE CALMING. JUST LIKE THE PILLOW ROOM IS CALM, SO IS BEING OUTSIDE WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR OWN THOUGHTS."

Nightmare is glad Blue is behind him as he blushes, thinking of Blue almost kissing him the last time they were in there. "Yes, it can be... nice not being around the others."

Blue hums and continues to follow Nightmare silently, looking at the pretty flowers and plants as he does so.

They reach the center of the garden where a gazebo and bench are. 'Alright Nightmare you are a king feared throughout the multiverse, you can tell your soulmate you love him!'

"WOAH, I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE THINGS OUTSIDE OF MOVIES." He laughs to himself. He really should explore certain places more. "THIS IS REALLY CALMING. I LIKE IT."

Nightmare smiles softly at Blue without realizing it, hearing him laugh. "You should see it in winter, the snow doesn't get disturbed by the boys often so it is very pretty."

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME WHEN IT BECOMES WINTER HERE. I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TIME EVEN WORKS ANYMORE..." Honestly, with how weird certain universes are about time, he's surprised he even manages to keep track of the dates in his original universe.

Nightmare sits down and glances to the side with a light blush "Well you are more than welcome to come to the castle at any time so, if you want, you can stay over for a few nights l-like a sleepover?" ‘This is how normal not murderers do things right?!? Sleepovers??’

"OH, SO YOU WON'T KIDNAP ME NEXT TIME! GOOD, I NEED TO WARN M- ER, DREAM AND INK SO THEY WON'T WORRY." Blue sits down as well.

"To be fair Killer did the kidnapping, I was just reading a book."

"TRUE, BUT STILL."

Nightmare rests a hand on the bench between them, "I can't say I completely disapprove of his action however, I did get to spend time with you after all."

Blue smiles, looking away and blushing as he remembers what had happened in the pillow room. "ME NEITHER. I WAS ABLE TO REALLY SEE HOW WONDERFUL YOU AND ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR GANG ARE." It's a shame he has to go home soon...

Some of his tentacles are draped over Blue's shoulders like a blanket, Nightmare reaches for Blue's hand. "Yes we are a bit like a family here and maybe... maybe you could be a part of it too?"

"YOU WOULD... TRUST ME ENOUGH? TO BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY, EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN FIGHTING AGAINST YOU GUYS?" It's not like Blue doesn't want to accept that, more, he wants to make sure.

On Nightmares shoulder was Buni, hiding in Nightmares hood. "Come On, Confess To Him!" He makes sure he's quiet enough to not be heard by Blue.

Nightmare holds Blue's hand and turns in his spot to give Blue his full attention, "Blue, you never fought dirty with any of us and are a very honourable fighter and person. My boys fight each other all the time and have done more damage than you ever have. So yes, I trust you."

Blue smiles and turns himself to fully look at Nightmare. He blushes when he notices that they're holding hands. "I'M GLAD... ALL OF YOU ARE WEIRDO'S, BUT I LIKE HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS. IF THE OTHERS WOULDN'T MIND EITHER, I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN YOUR STRANGE FAMILY."

Nightmare takes a deep breath and unknowingly leans closer to Blue "Blue, I um... I have something I would like to tell you." He is blushing fully now.

"WHAT IS IT NIGHTS?" His blush is getting deeper. There is no way that... No, it's probably just his imagination.

"Seeing how you want to join our family, would you like to be my... my..." 'Come on Nightmare you can do this! Just ask him to be your mate!'

_click_

_Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_

The sound of vibrating and static.

Nightmare groans thinking its Error needing something at the wrong time.

Paired with the static and whirring, a typing sound is heard. One that gradually gets louder.

He looks up to tell Error not now but he is not there? He looks around hearing the noise but is confused not seeing anyone.

_WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR_

He feels for Error but he is at the castle, Nightmare grabs Blue pulling him closer and his tentacles raise up sharper than before, "Who is out there?"

_clickclickcliCKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKLCLICKCLICK_

Suddenly a portal appears under the two. 

_WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR_

They fall in.

"FUCK!?!" he tries to grab the edges on the portal like an idiot and just burns his tentacles and hand. He holds onto Blue putting him on top so when they land Nightmare hits first and not Blue. Blue grabs onto Nightmare and squeezes his eyes shut, screaming in fear as they fall.

With a thump, they fall onto...some kind of floor. Once the thump is heard, the other voices which had previously been chattering cease. 

Silence.

"AHHHHHH MOMMA NOOTMARE THERE'S ANOTHER YOU!!!"

Once Blue realizes he's no longer falling, he hesitantly opens his eyes and looks at Nightmare, ignoring the other voices. "NIGHTY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?"

Nighty ignores his pain and jumps up, putting Blue behind him in some tentacles holding him and the others raised and sharp facing the new voices. They look extra goopy where they touched the portal and are twitching in pain. 

"'Nighty?' Omg thats so cute boss!"

Midnight also falls down the portal. Blue only notices because he falls on top of Blue's skull. He grabs Midnight and nuzzles him, before hesitantly trying to look over to the voices. 

"pfft- Nighty. which is better, Nighty or Mama Noot?" Axe asks.

"Uhhh... aren't nighties another word for pajamas?"

"Shut up, Dust,” Cross says.

"Boss why ya look so chilled? Go on, say hi to yourself!" Killer’s voice says mockingly.

"Pffft-”

"WAIT, DUST? KILLER- ANOTHER NIGHTMARE!?" Blue looks between the two. "WHICH ONE IS THE REAL ONE...?"

"Hehe, the blue sunshine child said my name-"

"Shut UP, DUST"

"MAKE ME, CROSS D:<"

"We are both real Blue, I think this is just something Error said could happen if The Creators like or hate us" Nighty still has his guard up, he doesn't know if this other Nightmare is still in the 'evil kill everything for power' part of their life or not. 

Killer is waving to Blue and the tiny Noots, "There is a cute little boss too. -gasp!- Minimare!"

Momma Nootmare is still silent, staring in shock at the alternate version of himself on the floor.

Midnight glares at him, still confused but protective. He wraps his tentacles around Blue’s arm. "WOW... THIS IS VERY STRANGE..." He tries to hide Mini from Nighty’s view, praying Nighty hasn't seen him or what he is yet.

Nighty's tentacles are dripping on the floor, normally it would disappear just after falling off but being hurt it drips like blood to the floor and they are shaking.

"Oh my gosh! It's a soulfound!!!" A very excited and female voice chimes from the couch next to Axe. "I've seen those in my dating sims! They're so cute! You don't look like as much of a gloopy bastard when you're small, Noots!"

Blue's face lights up as he hides behind Nighty, covering his blushing face. Midnight hides in Blues bandanna, but it's pretty much useless at that point.

"...Gloopy?" Nighty mumbles to himself confused and a bit tired.

"Yes, yes, thank you Monika," Nootmare says tiredly, still staring at himself.

Killer looks at Nighty for a bit then leans to Nootmare "Ey uh boss? Does other you look a bit... extra goopy to ya?"

Axe nods. "He looks like you but when hurt. Might want to check that."

Noot is still hella suspicious, but if Axe sounds serious, it's probably important. "Other me, we should heal you up before anything else."

Monika leans over to Axe. _"Is this normal...?"_

"Which part? The gloop, people falling from a portal, or multiple Mama Noots?"

"...yes."

"Gloop is kinda normal. If you count Killer and Dust, all the time. This is... not as common as the last two, but at this point we shouldn't be surprised."

Nighty can't feel any ill intent from the group so he un-sharpens his tentacles and they lay limp on the ground twitching every so often. He is tired from holding them up and Blue landing on him. 

Killer is poking Mama Noot’s tentacles thinking "I'm not all that sure how to fix him tho, the negativity here should have done it by now unless it's from Dream's arrows or something like that."

Serious mom mode activated! Momma Noot narrows his single eye. He addresses his alternate self. "Was this Dream?"

Blue frowns and nuzzles Nightm- his Nighty. "DREAM WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR US. I... THINK IT WAS THE PORTAL?"

"Wait, what portal? The one that you two fell out of?"

"What other portal, genius?"

"SHUT UP DUST I SWEAR-"

"I tried to grab the sides and it burned me, my brother was panicking in another AU at the time." he reaches his good hand back to hold Blue.

"...Burned you..." Nootmare is muttering to himself now. It's almost inaudible.

Cross turns to Error. "Is this The Creators bein wack again, Ruru?"

Error tilts his head as if listening "yEaH, tHeY KeEp sAyInG LoL AnD ThInK ThIs iS FuNnY? oH, aNd tHeIr dReAm iS HyPeRvEnTiLaTiNg wItH InK JuSt wAtChInG So tHaT'S A ThInG. oNe iS CrYiNg aNd i cAn aPpArEnTlY HeAr eMoJiS."

Monika leans over to Axe again. "What the fuck who is he listening to?"

Axe chuckles. "The Creators. Kinda like what you humans call god, except multiple and they like to fuck with us."

Monika is confused and most definitely concerned, but leaves the topic.

_NOT ALWAYS WE LOVE YOU GUYS AND WOULD PROTECT YOU WILL ALL OUR POWER_

_We luv uuuuuu_

_I don't :D_

_Hyper no-_

_Hyper yes~_

_HYPER APOLOGIZE_

_Hyper won’t_

_she likes to hurt her characters_

_Or give them love idk_

_No meanie_

_I mean I almost always torture Blueberry when he’s in my fics. ...he’s in almost all of my fic’s…_ _  
_ _So yeah that’s fair_

_GIVE LOVE TO THEM_

Error shakes his head "sOmE LoVe uS AnD OtHeRs lOvE/WaNt tO HuRt uS BuT It's nOt aLwAyS BaD ThEy uSuAlLy hAvE CoMfOrT AfTeR ThE HuRt."

Nighty leans against Blue very tired, he is losing a lot of goop and this poor carpet will never be the same again.

Blue whimpers and hugs Nighty a bit tighter. "U-UHM EXCUSE ME!" He raises his voice a bit louder to catch everyone's attention

Dust's eyes are wide after Error’s statement, but at Blue’s voice, he pays attention.

Cross is now eating cookies and looking bored.

Nootmare notices how distraught Blue seems. "What's wrong?"

"NIGHTY SEEMS HURT, AND UH, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM, SO CAN YOU GUYS HELP ME HELP HIM? PLEASE? I'LL PAY YOU BACK!"

Cross snorts. "As if Momma Noot would take payment. He's a big softie."

Nootmare’s face softens and mom mode comes back tenfold. "Of course, Lil’ Blue. Axe, Monika, get the kit."

Axe nods, now back into serious mode, and grabs Monika’s hand to get the kit. She is sort of lost, but goes along willingly.

The tentacles around Blue are on the floor now too leaving Blue’s outfit stained and slimy, "Sorry Sunshine, I can’t retract them into my body injured." Nighty mumbles. 

Blue and Bani both nuzzle him. "LIKE I CARE ABOUT SOME GOOP IN MY CLOTHES. YOU'RE HURT NIGHTY. JUST TRY TO RELAX A BIT, YOU MIGHT FEEL BETTER AND LESS STRESSED."

Nighty nuzzles Blue and Buni back purring lightly, his injuries just stinging and burning now the negativity in this multiverse healing him but it's slow.

Killer blips out to get buckets and hand shovels "This stuff is makin a mess on the floor, Cross get him to the hardwood so Dust and I can clean this up."

Cross nods and drops his chocolate into his pocket before standing and lifting Nighty easily. He brings him to the kitchen floor. His tentacles leave a mess behind Cross and he tries to keep them from tripping him.

Dust blips away for some towels.

Axe comes running back with Monika in hand and the kit in the other. "Found it, boss." Monika opens the kit and stoops next to Nighty. She begins to clean up Nighty best she can with Dust helping.

Blue awkwardly watches as they help Nighty. He's going to have to make a lot of tacos as thanks.

Error is swatting at the air like there is flies "If yA'Ll cAn sHuSh fOr a sEcOnD We aRe tRyInG To fIgUrE OuT WhAt yA DiD To tHe oThEr bOsS!" he is quieter with this part "I wAnT ThE DrAmA LaTeR BuT RiGhT NoW Is tHiS."

Dust looks up to Momma Noot. "I think we got it all? Not sure."

Monika studies Nighty. "Are you feelin better?"

"Yes, I am better thank you uh... human?" Nighty looks confused but still polite.

Monika snorts, not used to this polite Nightmare.

Blue smiles, a little weary of the human, but nothing more. "THANK YOU, HUMAN. AND UH, OTHER DUST AND CROSS."

Killer has a big bucket of goop "Hey boss what do we do with this stuff?"

Dust snickers. "Drink it :D"

"Drink it" Axe smirks

"BITCH THINK I WON'T!" Killer goes to drink the goop

Cross laughs. "I want some too!"

"I-I DON'T REALLY THINK THAT'S SAFE!? P-PLEASE DON'T!"

"Please don't eat my body. I need that and it would feel weird being in your body for the both of us."

"NO ONE IS DRINKING MY ALTERNATE SELVES GOOP, YOU NASTY BASTARDS!"

Midnight sighs. "I swear I hate them already."

Blue pokes Mini. "THAT'S JUST MEAN, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET THEM."

Killer puts the goop down and doesn't drink it sadly.

"But Momma Noot!"

Nootmare sighs. "Can we just, talk things out right now before I throw hands?"

"UHM, I AGREE WITH OTHER NIGHTMARE. WE SHOULD CALM DOWN..."

"Thank you, Blue. Cross, bring other me to the couch, please."

-Sigh- "Nighty, you can call me Nighty. this is Buni my... soulfound" Nighty blushes and doesn't look at Blue.

"Hello!!!" Buni waves at everyone.

Blue's face immediately flushes. Nighty has a soulfound too!? Blue hesitantly shows Midnight. "S-SOULFOUNDS... SMALL VERSIONS OF YOUR... S-SOULMATE."

"Soulmate?" Dust suddenly smirks at noot. "Boss~~~~"

Nootmare is confused as fuck.

Error looks like he is watching a great drama hearing the voices and watching what is happening.

Midnight sighs. "Well, looks like the secrets out now."

Buni smiles. "Big Me Has A Small You! How Cool!"

Killer goes to Buni and 'shakes' his hand with his finger "Sooo this little guy is Blue huh? And he has a little other boss? That’s adorable.~"

Buni giggles and 'shakes' his hand. "Yup! I'm Bani! I Don't Know What Small Nightmare’s Name Is Yet, Probably Because Big Me Didn't Know I Existed! :D"

Monika leans over to Axe. "Axe what is happening right now."

"Uhh... I actually don't know this time," Axe shrugs

Nighty blushes brightly trying to hide in his tentacles but that doesn't work well, they have gone down in size significantly after losing all that goop.

Nootmare is hella confused as he points in between his alternate self and Blue. "Wait- wha- um.. Who-"

Cross is back to his cookies.

Dust is poking at Nighty's now small tentacles.

"...ME AND NIGHTY ARE SOULMATES...." He explains before hiding in his bandanna, way too embarrassed at this point. Nighty knows!

Dust laughs. "Boss ya didn't tell me you were into short, blue, and hyper~"

Nootmare facepalms.

Killer puts the bucket of goop...somewhere and comes back smiling at Noots "Aww~ Does boss like the little blue Star Sans too~"

"Heh, I didn't know Mama Noot would be into a Star Sans~"

Nootmare abruptly stands. "I'm gonna go and stick my head in Cross' eggnog until I can find this easier to deal with!"

One of the tiny tentacles paps at Dust’s hand (like cats playing patty cake) and Nighty talks to Blue quietly "I wanted to tell you earlier but um," vague hand wave to the area around them, "this happened, I would still like you to join our family if you want."

"W-WE SHOULD PROBABLY TALK LATER, BUT UH, YEAH. I'D LIKE THAT." He smiles at him and holds Midnight to his chest.

Bani jumps happily before clinging to Nighty’s hand.

"Cross go get the mistletoe." Dust whispers.

Killer smiles "Oh yeah! The giftmass party!"

Nighty nods and pets Buni giving him a little nuzzle "Sorry for the rough landing Buni are you okay? I didn't land on you, did I?"

"I Am A-okay! The Magnificent Bani Cannot Be Hurt By That! ...Also I Was Hiding In Your Shirt, So I Didn't Get Hurt."

Nighty purrs and kisses Buni on the skull "I'm glad you are safe, I would have felt terrible if I hurt you."

Dust stands. "This is cute and all but I need eggnog."

Blue tilts his head. "WHAT'S EGGNOG?"

Cross, Monika and Dust G A S P.

Axe freezes. "Excuse me?"

Monika stands. "Axe, get a cup."

"We're fixing this."

"On it."

"D-DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG..?"

Monika pats his head. "The fact that you haven't had eggnog is a travesty, sweetheart. We're fixing this."

Error tilts his head "If yOuR Uh bOyS ArE FrEaKiNg oUt aNd tHe sTaRs aRe fReAkInG OuT WhO Is kEePiNg tHe mUlTiVeRsE ToGeThEr?"

“...............OH STARS, OUR MULTIVERSE IS FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. NIGHTY, I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE KIDNAPPED ME FOR THIS LONG..."

"You think?" Midnight baps him.

Nighty blushes and whispers to Buni, _"Was that a real I love you or the 'you’re being dumb' I love you?!? Buni help me out here!"_

He blinks. "Uhhh I Think A Mix Of Both! He Loves You~! :D"

Nighty's eyelight goes to a heart and he hides his face in his hands and his tentacles can only reach around his sides but not hug him

Axe runs in with a cup of eggnog. "Multiverse later. Eggnog now."

Monika takes the cup and hands it to Blue. "Drink, small child. By the way, I'm adopting you."

Blue tilts his head again. "TAKING THE RESETS INTO ACCOUNT, I'M PROBABLY OLDER THAN YOU..?" He still takes the cup and drinks it, before his eyes turn to stars. "OHMYSTARSITSAMAZING!"

"Regardless of that, you're my child now. Axe, I'm adopting him."

"We have a child now." Axe gives a thumbs up. 

Monika beams. "Our child!"

Error rolls his eyes "If hE PuTs wHiSkY In tHeRe I sWeAr."

"OH, HOW COULD YOU BLAME ME FOR SUCH A THING, ERROR? YOU HAVE NO PROOF THAT IT WAS I WHO SPIKED THE EGGNOG WITH HARDCORE WHISKY BOUGHT FROM UNDERFELL GRILLBS. NO PROOF AT ALL."

Error squints at Blue "MmMhMm rIgHt."

Cross grows tired of the conversation and leaves to the kitchen, where he'll chug eggnog with Noot.

Monika stands before offering Blue a hand. “Come on, child! You need a Giftmas sweater if you’re gonna stay for the party!” She’s moved on from the whole ‘alternate universe thing’ kind of quickly.

“OH, UHM, ALRIGHT?” Blue has resigned himself to his fate and allows the human to drag him away, albeit a bit tense.

Midnight glares at the human and wraps his tentacles around Blues arm.

Nighty reaches an arm out but Blue is already gone… welp he is strong he’ll be fine, right?

Killer flops down by Nighty and starts messing with his tiny tentacles, “So you and the blueberry huh?”

##### ~~~

Monika excitedly drags Blue down the hallway and into a small room at the end. She lets go of his hand and walks to a dresser at the end of the room. She opens the drawers and begins to shuffle through them, all while muttering under her breath. She speaks up finally as she pulls some sweaters out and inspects them. “So! You and other Momma Noot, huh?”

Blue’s face flushes as he looks away from the hum- Monika. “...MAYBE? I ONLY LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT THOUGH, IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL.”

Mini Mare gives him a look. “You sure about that?”

“SHUSH MINI.”

She pulls out a very tacky sweater before grimacing and shoving it deep within the drawers. “Is that so~? Lil’ Noot says otherwise, heh. Need me to get the mistletoe?”

Blue lifts up his bandanna so it covers his blushing face. “I DON’T LIKE HIM THAT MUCH, ONLY A LITTLE I SWEAR! BUT UH, D-DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONE…?” He’s not interested at all in this conversation nope.

“Yup! I’m planning to get Axe under it at one point >:D I can set it up in an inconspicuous doorway if you’d like~”

“...” He can’t bring himself to tell her that he would very much appreciate it.

So Mini does instead. “Put up the mistletoe, these two need all the help they can get."

Monika turns with several sweaters on her arm and winks. “Got it, short stuff! Alright, how tacky do you want your sweater?”

##### ~~~ 

Downstairs Nighty has been _trying_ to teach Error about the popcorn garlands the villagers showed Dream to make but _someone_ keeps teasing him about Blue and Buni. Killer has Buni on his hand eating popcorn he keeps stealing from the bowl on Nighty’s lap, every time he speaks it is to tease him and Nighty is a blushing mess. Buni, the traitor, is just laughing and munching away. 

Eventually, Blue and Monika return to the group. Blue is still blushing, but not as much, and is now also wearing a tacky ugly sweater Monika had helped him pick out. All in all, he’s pretty confident he’s not ready to face his soulmate yet and wants to run away! Unfortunately, Monika has forbidden him from running away.

Dust and Cross have been decorating Giftmas cookies. With a lot of red icing. And sharp toothpicks. They’ve had a great time making cookies into the shape of random people, only to eat them before breaking into snort laughter. It’s obvious that they’re the _slightest_ bit tipsy.

Momma Noot hasn’t moved from the eggnog. And it may be starting to have some sort of effect? He’s not sure… but things are looking wiggly, and that is in fact, he decides, wack.

Error has three tongues out and his glasses on trying to put a needle into popcorn without destroying it, ‘He is destruction incarnate damn it! Why is this so hard?! It’s just popcorn!’ Error is _this close_ to tossing the bowl into a portal at someone.

Nighty feels this and uses his nubby tentacles to keep Killer away best he can and tries to help Error. “Would you like help? It was hard to do for me too the first time.”

Killer is in fact not kept away at all and is now using the tentacles as pillows. “Let me eat themmmm, popcorn is junk food for meeee, not a dumb tree.”

“My mother is a tree.”

“...The point still stands, hand over the popcorn!”

##### ~~~

“Oh Aaaaaaxxeeee~!” A voice calls from around the corner. “Can you come through this inconspicuous doorway pleeeeaassee~?”

Axe, not noticing how suspicious Monika’s voice is, happily walks through the non-suspicious hallway.

Monika pops out in front of him. “Surprise, motherfucker!”

Axe jumps back, slightly scared by bae’s sudden entrance. “Oh hi, you didn’t scare me at all.”

She looks proud of herself. “Mhmm, totally. Anyway! Axe! Look up!”

Axe looks up at the ceiling and sees a mistletoe hanging between them. “Huh, that plant thing that makes people-” He pauses. “Wait a second…”

“Mhmm~!”

Axe blushes and looks around to try and find someone to help, but no one is around. “Oh jeez, what do I do now? Aaaaaa Mama Nootmare where are you when I need you..”

After snickering, Monika leans forward and kisses Axe’s forehead softly before bouncing away happily.

…

_HolyfuckshejustkissedhimwhatdoeshedoaaaaaAAAAAAAA-_

Axe panics in the doorway Monika had left him in, trying to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do from there.

##### ~~~ 

Meanwhile, on the sofa, Nighty tried to keep the popcorn away but is now just laying on his front as Killer is laying on top of him trying to grab the bowl of popcorn Nighty has held out in front of him. Error watches on not helping. Buni is also sitting in the bowl of popcorn, eating the pieces and not helping Nighty.

After Midnight gives him a pep talk (aka telling him he’s ridiculous for being this nervous for nothing) he comes back to the room to see… whatever is going on by the sofa. He quietly laughs seeing them. With Midnight secure on his shoulder, he walks over to the group. “WHAT'S HAPPENING OVER HERE..?”

Nighty freezes and looks over to Blue “...Nothing?” he tries to push off Killer but the tentacles are not strong enough for that. Killer just grins and lays his full weight on Nighty making him “Oof!” and he smiles at Blue “Just dudes being bros and sharing food… well we would if Nighty was being nice.~”

Blue sighs and shakes his head. “COME ON KILLER, IT’S NOT FAIR IF HE CAN’T FIGHT BACK AT FULL STRENGTH.” He then effortlessly scoops up Killer and plops him back on the other side of the couch. 

Killer sits blinking for a few seconds just looking at the smaller Sans. “...How hard can you toss someone?” It's an innocent question but Killer has ulterior motives. 

Nighty sighs and sits up scooting over for Blue and patting Buni, even if he is a traitor. “Thank you Blue, he is surprisingly heavy for a skeleton.” Buni smiles and purrs at the pats while happily munching on his stolen popcorn. 

“OOH, NIGHTY! REMEMBER THAT TIME I YEETED CROSS ACROSS THE FOREST?” Blue plops down next to Nighty. “THAT WAS MAYBE THE SECOND TIME I FOUGHT YOU GUYS? MWEH HEH! THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES WERE PRICELESS!” 

Killer looks like he has plans in mind as he pulls a notebook out and starts writing the gang's names and weights down. Nighty thinks for a bit but remembers, “Yes poor Cross was only willing to fight Ink or Dream after that. That forest was not small so he had a long way to walk back.”

“HEH, YEAH. IN A WAY, I BOTH DO AND DON’T REGRET THAT. CROSS ALSO MIIIGHT BE PUTTING DOWN THAT RULE IN TERMS OF SUPER SMASH BROS AS WELL. HE’S A SORE LOSER!”  
  
Buni waves at Midnight to get the other soulfounds attention, and after a moment, it works. “Hey, Other Tiny Soulmate, Come Here! The Popcorn Is Yummy!” Midnight hesitates before sliding down Blue’s arm and carefully going inside the popcorn bowl. 

Nighty sighs and leans on Blue a bit, “Those boys are ridiculous sometimes but they do make life interesting.” Error has given up on the garland and angrily munches on the popcorn in his lap, muttering about weak foods and how chocolate wouldn’t betray him like this. Nighty puts the bowl carefully on the coffee table trying to not shake the two soulfounds in it. 

Blue smiles and very sneakily leans on Nighty as well. “HOPEFULLY WE GET BACK SOON. I DON’T WANT THEM TO NOTICE WE’RE GONE AND PANIC. HAVING BOTH SIDES PANICKING ABOUT WHERE WE ARE DOESN’T SOUND VERY FUN TO DEAL WITH… ESPECIALLY DREAM.”

“Dream kept thinking Nighty was torturing Blue in some creepy basement or something.” Midnight mutters, getting annoyed thinking about it. He’s not annoyed that he believed big him would do something like that, nope. Buni comes over and hugs one of his tentacles, making him relax.

“It's called a _dungeon_ thank you, and I keep that clean.” Nighty pouts, his castle has standards! A dirty dungeon is sooo tacky.

Error gets up in a huff and grabs the popcorn bowl as he passes not noticing the soulfounds inside. He walks to the kitchen and sets it down by the nog bowl and gets a cup patting Noot’s back as he leaves. 

Midnight and Buni look at each other. “Crap. What now?” 

Buni hums, trying to think of a good idea. “I Guess We Can Just Hop-Off And Try To Port Back? Can We Port That Far?” Midnight picks Buni up with a tentacle, making some of the popcorn fall off of him. 

“ _I_ can, but I’m not quite sure about you.” Buni rolls his eyelights and pats the tentacle, since really Midnight is just a big tsun tsun.

When Midnight goes to jump off the edge of the bowl, he realizes he did not predict there to be a second bowl, this time filled with a mysterious liquid. Before he has a chance to grab onto something, he and Buni plop into the thick yellow thing.

##### ~~~ 

Now Momma Nootmare has had quite a few cups of nog at this point. And it's uhh...definitely affecting him. Not in any overly bad way or anything, it's just that the world is going spin spin and his words aren't wording as they should.

He may sound eloquent in his head, but when he tried to address Cross using actual people talk, it went something along the lines of:

“If we call Killer the rat, doesh- wait fuck- _does_ that mean his full name would be Ratthew?”

He receives no answer from Cross, seeing as the skeleton is uhh...passed out. “You’re such a good listener, Crosh- wait. Fuck. _Crosh._ No, not quite. Crosh. No, _Moss._ Yeah, Moss.”

Content with this, he goes back to his eggnog, leaving Moss passed out on the floor.

It seems, Noot thinks calmly, that when he's drunk, he views things with a certain…" not my problem" air.

Moss collapsed after drinking just one cup of eggnog? Not his problem. 

Dust is cackling maniacally over a cookie decorated to look like Shrek? Not his problem.

The alternate version of himself who is extremely small fell into the eggnog along with the small alternate Blue? Not. His. Problem.

What _should_ be a problem, however, are all of these little stars floating all over the place. Pretty~

He's just sort of...staring into his cup and thinkin bout stuff. So he doesn't pay much attention to the small inebriated skeleton guys next to him. 

Noot is like a philosopher. He's uncovering all of the greatest questions, and seeking to answer them.

Where _do_ babies come from?

Hmm… He's gonna go with trees. Tree babies. Babies trees. Babies _in_ the trees. Trees...made of babies? Babies is a wack word. Bay-beez. Huh. Beez. Bees? THERE'S A BEE?!

Calm down, Noots. No bees here. Just a couple of small skeletons in the eggnog bowl. Wait, what are they even doing in there?

##### ~~~ 

Blue giggles from Nighty’s reaction and pats his hand before leaving his hand on Nighty’s, because he’s smooth like that. “THERE THERE, NIGHTY. I MEAN, AT LEAST YOU GET TO GLOAT THAT YOU DIDN’T PUT ME IN A DIRTY DUNGEON! DREAM CAN’T CALL YOU EVIL AFTER THAT :D”

Nighty blushes at their hands but plays it off by turning his hand and holding Blue’s, “I’m not _evil_ I keep a clean castle and if I have… _guests_ over them getting sick from a dirty dungeon is not what I want to deal with.” He looks to the now bowless coffee table “... Where did the bowl go?” He looks around but sees no bowl.  
  
Killer is doing what looks like math on his notebook and waves a hand in the direction of the kitchen “Error took it in there when he left.”  
  
“I’M PRETTY SURE MIDNIGHT AND BUNI WERE IN THERE? I DON’T KNOW ABOUT BUNI, BUT MIDNIGHT TENDS TO GET HIMSELF INTO… LITERAL STICKY SITUATIONS. I’VE HAD TO TAKE AWAY THE SYRUP FROM HIM. AND ALL FOODS THAT REQUIRE SYRUP.”

Nighty frowns and stands up still holding Blue’s hand “well what trouble can they get into? Other me is in there right? So they should be fine but we should go look.” He leads the way.

Blue continues to hold Nighty’s hand and follows him as he looks for the two soulfounds in the direction Killer had pointed to, aka, where the eggnog was. When they got there, Blue was surprised to see both of them in said nog, except Midnight isn’t… goopy? He almost wouldn’t have said it was Midnight if they weren't wearing the same clothes he was before.

Nighty stops seeing them covered in nog and sighs, “Buni that is dry clean only and I don’t think we have anything for you two to wear.” He walks over giving Noots a side-eye for not watching them and scoops them out of the nog. “Are you two alright? The nog is kinda cold.” he hopes not saying anything about the passive Midnight will make Blue not notice it. 

Buni sticks his tongue out at Nighty. “Awww, But The Splashy Stuff Was Fuuuun…” He tries to go back to the eggnog, but he ends up tripping on his own feet and falling on Midnight, making both of them fall on Nighy’s palm. They both stay silent for a moment before exploding into a giggle fit.

Nighty is wide-eyed watching them and looks at the nog, he scoops some in a cup and takes a sip. “Oh hmm. That’s not good.” It looks like Midnight’s goop mixed with the nog, it is now very spiked. He puts the cup down and holds both soulfounds in his hands “How...how much did you two drink? Absorb?” If they are lucky not a lot and they can just drink water to be fine.

“Hmm… A Lot! The Splashy Stuff Makes The World Fuzzy N’ Stuff!” Buni smiles and sits up. He then hugs Midnight, aka pretty much just plopping his face on Mini’s chest. Non-goopy Mini grabs Buni and scoops him on his lap before nuzzling him. “This is nice.” Non-Goop lightly purrs as he continues to nuzzle Buni.

Blue looks at the two soulfounds, very confused. “...IS THIS HOW I ACT WHEN DRUNK?”

Nighty shrugs “No one has ever seen you drunk so we don’t know.” He tries to pull them apart but Mini just clings tighter, “Hey we need to get you two clean so you don’t get sick, let go.” 

Instead of Mini, Buni turns to Nighty and growls at him, clinging to Midnight tighter. “Noooo! He’s Mine, No Taking Him Away!” He smothers his face in Midnight's chest. Mini just laughs and rests his head on top of Buni’s skull.

“I… WH… _WHY IS HE SO POSSESSIVE..?_ ” Is this actually how Blue acts, or is this only drunk Blue? 

Nighty looks shocked “D-did you just _growl_ at me?? Buni that's rude and you need to get clean! Wouldn’t you feel better hugging him dry and warm and not, oh I don’t know, covered in cold eggnog?” He looks at Blue for help.

In response to Nighty’s look, Blue turns to his soulfound. “UH, YEAH MIDNIGHT! IT’S PROBABLY UNCOMFORTABLE BEING ALL SOAKING COLD LIKE THAT!”

Mini shakes his head. “Nope, Buni is soft.”

“...” Really? “ _WELL_ , WE DON’T WANT BUNI TO GET _SICK_ OR ANYTHING, DO WE? WE HAVE TO LET BUNI AND YOU GET DRY AND WARM SO YOU'RE NOT SICK.”

Buni moves away from Midnight's chest, and the two soulfounds look up at them. “Soulfounds Can Get Sick..?” Buni asks.

“Uh yes! You can get sick just like we can and that's why we want to get you both clean… If you don’t want to let go we can wash you together? Like in the sink or something?” Every house has a bathroom right? The Error here might be different but surely he has doll clothing they can wear? 

Midnight nods. “I don’t want anyone else being sick..” He mutters. Buni, on the other hand, looks excited. 

“Yes, Let's Make Sure No Ones Sick! And I Can Shower With Midnight~! Yay!” He nuzzles Mini, who smiles again and nuzzles back.

Blue stares at Buni, getting more and more shocked and confused. “I… _WOW_ .” How is he so bold!? If Blue was as confident as drunk Buni is, he probably would have confessed to Nighty years ago! “ _I Should Get Drunk…”_ He mutters to himself.

Nighty blushes brightly, he forgot that they are sentient for a second. He normally helps Buni wash his spine so he is used to him in a bath but how could he forget Midnight?! Is it safe to take back the offer to bathe together or does drunk Buni get fighty? “Uhh...keep it PG?”

Buni pouts but nods. “Fiiiiine. Only Because The Clothes Are Sticking To My Bones And It’s Uncomfy.”

Nighty takes them to the first-floor bathroom. Thankfully the castle is mostly the same, he turns on the water and waits till it’s warm to set the soulfounds in it and put in the drain stopper. “I’ll look for Error to get them something to wear. Can you watch them Blue? I’d rather they not drown or… do something.”

Blue nods. “Y-YUP, NO WORRIES! I’LL MAKE SURE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS!"

As Nighty goes off to find Error, Killer is walking around watching what everyone is doing when he finds Cross on the floor and Noots… just standing by the counter? “Uhh boss? You doin alright?”

Noots stares into his cup, thinking very deep thoughts that are most definitely NOT about a Fluffy Bunny and Lord of the Rings crossover. He looks up. “wHA-”

Killer looks at him for a bit and just gently takes the cup from his hands, “I think ya had enough boss, why not have a seat on the nice soft sofa huh?”

Noot focuses on his face. “Wha- oh hi Ratthew.”

“...Sure I’m Ratthew now boss. Now about that seat?” He tries to lead Noots past the eggnog and to the sofa. “Watch yer step, Cross is on the floor.”

He lets himself get dragged. “You mean Moss.”

Of all the times he doesn't have his phone recording it had to be now, he is losing this goldmine of blackmail. “Yeah, Moss. Just don’t step on him, that would be rude.” How far can he get away with this? The chance to be his rat self is too great and he needs to use it.

“Pfft- Moss. Hehe. Wait- where are we going?”

“ _You_ are going to sit down and drink a cup of water. I have… stuff to take care of.” That's not suspicious right? Nah, he won’t notice right now.

Noots narrows his single eye. “...sus. Besides, water _sucks_.”

...Is he a toddler? “Boss the water will help and is good for you or something.” He gently plops him down on the sofa patting some tentacles “Sit here and don’t move I’ll be back with the water.”

Noots brings his knees up to his chest and hugs them. “Mmm- I want hugs.”

Fuuuck he's not allowed to be cute, how can I do rat things if he is like this? ...Welp he will have to thank Cross for his noble sacrifice later than. He lifts up Cross best he can and kinda drags him to Noots, “Here you can hug Cr- _Moss_ and drink the water, okay?” He drops Cross on the sofa by Noots.

Noots immediately hugs Cross and buries his face into his shoulder. “Fluffy onion bitch.”

Killer chuckles and gets his phone out taking some pics and changing Cross’ name to Moss in his phone. He clicks on his camera to record, “ Hey boss~ Moss is a great pillow huh?”

Noot’s tentacles wrap around Cross and the gloopy skeleton nods sleepily. “Onions are _always_ good pillows, Ratthew. Onion boy is fluffy boy.”

Killer is trying to not laugh but it is very hard to do. “On-onion boy?? Is he not Moss anymore?” This is the best day _ever_.

Noots looks offended. “He can be _both,_ Ratthew. He’s an onion cause like, _layers._ He has a lot of pants,” he pronounces clearly.

-Wheeze- “O-oh I didn’t think like that sorry boss.” The camera is shaking from him quietly laughing. 

“That’s right ya didn’t. You need manners. Rats don’t have manners.”

Killer is going to die from laughing at this point but he has to keep cool, he can do this. “I have manners boss, I gave you Moss to hug and stuff. I have plenty of manners… when I want to use them.”

Noots has to think about this. He lets go of Cross briefly. “...yeah I guess. You’re a good rat boy. The best.” He hugs Cross again.

“Heh heh okay boss I’ll let you sleep in a bit, you still need the water.” He stops recording but keeps his phone ready if he needs it. He walks to the kitchen to get the water, stealing some of Dust's cookies as he goes.

Dust protests this, but can’t stop Killer as his hands are full of cookies.

As Nootmare cuddles Cross, the smaller skeleton begins to stir. “Wha- What’s happening…”

Nootmare tightens his grip. “Nothin. Got to sleep, onion boy.”

“Mmm...okayyy…”

Killer grabs the cup of water and sees what he _thinks_ is Noot’s cup from earlier with some nog still in it, well best not waste it! He downs the nog, huh it has an apple-like taste. How nice. He walks back in and passes the water over. “Okay drink this and then you can sleep, okay?”

“Mhmm~” Noots takes the cup and drinks a bit before dropping it on his lap. Which soaks both him and Cross. “Oof. Good thing Moss is a sponge.”

Killer sighs and slips off his jacket to try and dry them, “Do not use him like a sponge, I don’t want to try getting all the layers and belts off.” How did he make this much of a mess with a single cup of water?

“Heh...Heh..hey hey hey Ratthew,” Noots starts as Killer cleans. He sounds mischievous.

“Yeah boss?”

“The Moss. It’s -snrk- _moist_.” Noots begins to giggle.

Killer starts giggling too and has to sit down with his face in his hands, “Boss, boss no don’t say that. I’m trying to help and you're distracting me.” 

Noots can’t stop giggling. “*snirk* _moist_.”

Killer is feeling oddly warm and giggly, like after a few drinks, but that can’t be right he only had the eggnog from earlier. It was only spiked a bit, not enough to do this.

Noots has calmed down slightly, but now makes a grabby hands motion towards Killer. “Hugs please. Rat hugs are best.”

Well he can’t say no to that, he even said please. “Alright boss, let me just get Moss’ big coat off so I don’t get wet.” 

“Mmm okee…” Noot sounds sleepy.

After a bit of struggling, Killer gets the coat off, drops it on the floor with his, and grabs a blanket to cuddle with. He gets on Noots other side and covers them all and snuggles into the tentacles. “There now you can sleep boss.”

Noots snuggles back and drifts off to sleep.

##### ~~~ 

Nighty had left Blue to deal with… whatever Buni is going to do and is now looking for Error. Hopefully, he is still in the castle and not running around the AUs like his Error, it would be bad if he ran into his not-brother here. Thinking about it, leaving the castle at all in his weaker state is just a bad idea so let's just hope Error is still here. 

Error was brooding on the fridge and eating popcorn. Watching all of the shenanigans down below makes him chuckle. When he sees the alternate version of his boss entering the kitchen and looking incredibly lost, Error throws a piece of popcorn at his head.

Blinking Nighty looks up and grabs the popcorn out of his goop. “Ah Error just the monster I was looking for… why are you up there?”

Error shrugs and shoves a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “iT'S My sEcReT PlAcE. wHy wErE YoU LoOkInG FoR Me?”

“Our soulfounds need something to wear for the night and you are the best person I know of that could make tiny clothes and they are made well.” Compliments work best on Error so this should work here.

“YeE, gOtChA.” Error sticks a hand out to his left and opens a glitchy portal through which he sticks his hand. When he pulls his hand out, he’s holding a pair of knitting needles and two spools of yarn.

He begins to work, needles clicking fast together like an old lady at a knitting bee.

‘Hmm, my Error hates moving when he works so this is a perfect time to ask questions.’ Nighty pulls up a chair by the table and sits watching Error work. “If you don’t mind I have some questions about this multiverse.”

Error is focused on his needles, but makes an affirmative noise. “AsK AwAy, I GuEsS.”

“What is your Dream like here?”

The glitchy skeleton shrugs. “eH. a cInNaMoN RoLl. ThOuGh i’vE SeEn hIm dRuNk aNd wHoO BoY,” he laughs. “HmM...WhAt eLsE...He pRaCtIcAlLy fOrCeS PeOpLe tO EaT. hE’S AlMoSt aS MuCh a mOtHeR HeN As nOoTs."

“Heh yeah, he was like that as a kid too, hated it if I didn’t eat.” Nighty smiles at the memory of little Dream pouting if he didn’t eat. He shakes his head, “ What of the balance here, is it fine?”

“YeH, yEh, BaLaNcE Is fInE. iNk’s a bItCh sO I BeAt hIm uP, dReAm aNd mOmM-OtHeR YoU ArE AlL BuDdY-BuDdY AnD StUfF. tHoUgH We dOn’t sEe hIm tHaT OfTeN.”  
  
Error now has the hood of his fabric made.

“Oh… That's good. Things are not so good on our end but we are working on that and hopefully, it will be good enough Blue and I don’t have to hide.” 

“HUh.” Error has finished the torso of a small pajama looking suit thing. He’s hard at work on the rest. “NeAT.”

‘Well...that was basically all I wanted to know. Now what?’ Nighty sits and just watches for a bit trying to think of what to say.

Error seems to be satisfied with what he holds and tosses it at Nighty. It’s a small light blue pair of footie pajamas, with a hood that has small bunny ears on it. He picks up the second spool of yarn, this one a dark blue, and starts again. 

Nighty looks at it and smiles at how cute it is. He looks it over impressed with Error’s skills in knitting.

Error doesn’t look back, as he’s already hard at work on the next one. “YoU SaId yOu hAd qUeStIoNs oR SoMeThIn. AnY MoRe?”

“Hmmm oh right. Do you have any idea how we could get home? I have no ideas and would like to not leave my boys incharge for too long.” 

“PfFt yEaH. iF ThEy’rE AnYtHiNg lIkE Us tHeY’D TeAr tHaT HoUsE ApArT. aS FoR GeTtInG HoMe…” Error says as he continues to work on the pajama looking fabric. “I ThInK YoU ShOuLd jUsT WaIt a bIt. ThE CrEaToRs wIlL PrObAbLy sEnD YoU TwO HoMe wHeN ThEy tHiNk iT’S TiMe.”

Nighty frowns, “The fact they can do whatever is concerning but they didn’t hurt us so I will try to trust that.” 

Error is tying off the yarn. “YeAh, BuT We dOn’t nEeD To wOrRy. ThEy’rE NoT ThAt eViL. yOu tWo wIlL Be fInE.” He then tucks away the needle and yarn in another glitchy portal and tosses the dark blue pair of pajamas at Nighty. “hERe.”

Nighty looks at it and smiles chuckling, “They look great thank you Error.” He digs in his pocket and pulls out a chocolate bar he carries around for his Error, “Here, as a thank you for making them.”

Error rolls his eyes. “I’M NoT GoNnA TaKe pAyMeNt fOr- WaIt iS ThAt cHoCoLaTe? NeVeRmInD, i wIlL TaKe pAyMeNt.”

Nighty tosses the bar up shaking his head fondly, are all Errors weak to chocolate? He turns and heads out the kitchen and goes back to Blue and the soulfounds. “See you around Error.”

Error would answer, but he’s too busy shoving the chocolate (and the wrapper) into his mouth. He makes an affirmative noise as Nighty leaves.

##### ~~~ 

Blue is now alone with two drunk soulfounds, one of which seems to not want to stop flirting with the other. Or well, attempts at flirting? He’s not quite sure Midnight even realizes Buni is trying to flirt, but that's besides the point. Blue just wants to get both of them cleaned so they can go join the others. He’s not quite sure how he’s supposed to deal with this situation.

Midnight is just holding Buni purring happily and nuzzling him, he looks confused for a second and looks behind him not seeing his tentacles. He pouts, “I can’t give the best hugs like this.” and just hugs Buni with his arms grumpily. 

“It’s Alright Midnight, You're Still Warm And Soft! I Wanna Hug You Forever~,” Buni purrs while nuzzling Mini back. The lack of goop and tentacles isn’t affecting the quality of the hug.

Blue sighs at the two of them. “YOU GUYS NEED TO LET GO OF EACH OTHER SOON, YOU NEED TO GET CLEANED UP.” Although Blue is confused about his soulfounds lack of goop, now is probably not a very good time to ask any questions. Besides, Midnight probably has no idea.

Midnight whines but lets Buni go and tries to unzip his hoodie but after shrinking a little without the goop the sleeves are covering his hands. They keep covering them and sticking to him from the eggnog and water and he is getting frustrated trying. “I… am trapped” 

Buni giggles at Midnight's attempt to leave his hoodie. “I Could Help You!” He has a glint in his eyelights.

Midnight opens his arms flapping his sleeves in the water, “please I can’t get out.” 

He quickly moves back over to Mini and unzips his hoodie, and helps him to get his arms out of the sleeves. He nuzzles his neck, and gives him a quick hug before backing up again. “You’re free!”

Midnight smiles at Buni and finishes getting undressed and just lets his clothes sink under him using them as a seat so he doesn’t slip on the porcelain sink. The water is nice and warm so he is purring with it up to his chin.

Buni watches him with his eyelights as small hearts, not even looking away. Blue pokes Buni a couple seconds after Midnight climbs into the sink. “YOU HAVE TO CLEAN YOURSELF TOO, YOU KNOW.”  
  
“Right! I Remembered That!” Buni takes off his clothes and carefully places the mini bandanna next to the sink before sliding into said sink next to Midnight. Blue sighs. He’s probably going to have to keep his eyes on these two.

Midnight is doing a great rendition of a capybara all relaxed in the water, when Buni gets by he purrs and leans on him, happy to have him near. “The water is nice~” 

Buni puts his arm around Midnight and presses his teeth on the top of his skull. “Mmhmm, It’s Nice And Warm..” 

Midnight sees some nog on Buni’s cheek and reaches up to wipe it off and kiss his cheek, “There, clean mate.”

He blushes slightly and purrs. He moves to lift Midnight up and place him on his lap so he can nuzzle him more easily. Totally not so he can give more kisses, definitely not. He totally has not given his skull a bunch of kisses already, nope.

Blue lightly huffs as he watches them. How come Buni gets to give his mate smooches? That's not fair. He wants to be confident enough to give Nighty kisses too!

Midnight purrs and turns around in Buni’s lap to face him kissing his forehead and nuzzling him. He wipes more nog off Buni’s face and shoulders leaving little kisses and nuzzles as he does.

Buni half remembers that they are here to clean themselves, and decides to kinda do what he’s supposed to. Instead, he does what Midnight is doing and wipes off nog wherever he sees it while pecking his skull with kisses. Blue can’t tell if he should get them away from each other or leave them be. There… technically getting cleaner? 

Midnight cups Buni’s face looking him over for any leftover nog and smiles seeing none. He rubs his thumb over his cheek, “Pretty mate~” he leans down and kisses Buni. 

Buni wraps his arms around Mini’s neck and kisses him back while caressing the back of his skull. When he pulls away, he presses his forehead up against Midnight’s. “You’re More Pretty. The Best Mate Ever~” Did that sentence make sense? Yeah probably.

Blue half wants to curl in a ball in the corner and cry, while the other half wants to push the two away from each other. But, his mind is too confused to be able to properly react to them kissing, so he just awkwardly looks away and gives them their moment.

Midnight purrs nuzzling their foreheads together and hugs Buni around the hips, his ribs have a soft purple glow behind them from his soul shard. Buni’s ribs glow a light blue color as he closes his eyes, feeling relaxed and comfortable from being so close to Midnight.  
  
When the two’s soul fragments start to glow, Blue doesn’t notice, mainly because he starts to lightly cough. His light coughing then quickly turns into a violent coughing fit. He moves away from the two, hoping they don’t hear him while coughing into his hands. When he opens his eyes, he blinks away the tears and notices… what he had almost thought was a black liquid on his hands. But no, it’s his magic, though a lot more dark than normal.

Hearing Blue midnight look over to him concerned, “Blue? Are you okay?” Thinking _straight_ (heh) is hard for him right now but he is still worried about Blue’s weird illness.

Blue nervously laughs. “Y-YES, I’M ALRIGHT! JUST CHOKED ON-” He pauses when he has to cough once again, getting more of the strange dark magic on his hands. “A-AIR… I’M GOOD!” That's the most obvious lie he’s ever told. He shifts around so Midnight can’t see the magic on his hands.

Buni frowns from Midnight’s worrying. “Is Big Me Sick..?” He knows when he is lying, and he can tell that big him isn’t being a hundred percent truthful, even with everything being a bit fuzzy.

“Just a bit and we don’t know why…” Midnight gives him a quick kiss and moves off his lap to wade over to the edge of the sink. He tries to get a good look at Blue but everything is fuzzy past a certain point but he thinks he sees something drip from Blue’s hand to the floor. He tries to get out but can’t get a grip on the wet sink sides and just slips back in.

Buni, now also concerned, tries to help push Midnight out of the sink and onto the counter. “Big Me, Stop Lying! You Know Lying Is Bad!” Once he gets Midnight out of the sink, he also tries to get out without slipping.  
  
“I-I’M NOT LYING! I’M -cough- I’M REALLY FINE!” He wipes his mouth with his arm, which he quickly realizes is a bad idea. Great, now he’s going to have to try and get these weird magic stains out of his clothing.

Midnight holds the end of the sink and holds his other hand out to grab Buni to pull him out. “Blue we talked about this, you can ask for help if you need it.” He has completely forgotten he and Buni have no clothes on. 

Blue frowns and grabs some toilet paper to wipe the magic off. “I KNOW… BUT YOU TWO WERE BEING CUTE AND STUFF, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO INTERRUPT THAT?” He half-jokes. 

“But If You Need Help, It Doesn’t Matter What We’re Doing!” Man, big him is stubborn. 

Midnight hops down to the toilet lid and goes to Blue, “Do we need to get someone? Maybe someone here knows how to help?”

Blue lightly pats Mini-Mare’s skull and smiles at him. “I’M ALRIGHT MINI. SEE, I’M NOT EVEN COUGHING ANYMORE! I’M ALREADY FEELING BETTER, YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY!” He discreetly pushes the ball of toilet paper away from them. “NOW COVER YOURSELVES WITH TOILET PAPER OR SOMETHING.”

Midnight looks down noticing his lack of clothes squeaking and curling up to hide himself. “Help…”

Both Blue and Buni laugh at Midnight’s reaction. Blue takes another bit of toilet paper and folds it before handing it to him. Then he does the same thing for Buni, who seems not as embarrassed as Mini. 

There is a knock at the door and they hear Nighty call in, “I have some stuff for them to wear. Is it safe to come in?”

Blue gives Buni a look, and after a second, Buni covers himself with the toilet paper piece. “YUP, COME IN!”

Nighty walks in holding the clothing Error gave him. “Okay so let’s get you two dressed then we can go back out.” He looks up and just deadpans at Buni, “why are you just standing there naked Buni, it’s indecent! … I think? Does it count as indecent if it’s just your bigger self??” He sets the clothes on the sink and drains it. 

Buni pouts. “Hey, I’m Not The Only One Naked! Midnight Is Too!” He crosses his arms, only to panic and grabs the paper when it slips down.

“...LET'S JUST GET THEM DRESSED. THESE TWO ARE RIDICULOUS.”

Nighty sighs fondly and walks over holding out the outfits, one is light blue footie pajamas, with a hood that has small bunny ears on it and the other is a dark blue pair of pajamas with cat ears and a tail. He lets Buni pick the one he wants and passes the other to Blue for Midnight.

Buni grabs the light blue one and quickly puts it on, forgetting that there are three other people in the room. “Thank You Nighty~!” He likes these clothes! They're soft.  
  
Midnight takes his outfit and looks between it and his ‘towel’ trying to think how to hold it and change at the same time. 

Buni notices Midnight's dilemma and resists the urge to go nuzzle him. “It’s Alright Mini, All Of Us Have Seen You Naked Already~” 

“OR WE COULD ALL LOOK AWAY INSTEAD OF EMBARRASSING HIM.” These soulfounds and their love is so unfair. He turns to Nighty and sighs. “THEY’VE BEEN DOING THIS THE WHOLE TIME…”

Nighty turns to the wall like a civilized monster and keeps talking to Blue, “How were they when I was gone, did they behave?”

He shrugs. “KINDA. I MEAN, THEY DID KISS AND HUG EACH OTHER, BUT THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT.”

“Oh if that's all- wait they kissed?!” Nighty is not jealous at all, nope.

Blue tries his best to not look at all jealous. “YEAH. THEY WERE CLEANING EACH OTHER AND THEN JUST KINDA KISSED.” 

Midnight is now all cozy in his dark blue footie pajamas, and blips to the sink to be by Buni, it's a bit off of where he wanted to go but he plays it off like he meant to do that. He plays with the cute bunny ears on Buni’s pajamas, “Heh heh Buni is a bunny~"

Buni giggles seeing his pajamas and pokes the cat ears on the top. “And you're a little cat~! Aww so cuuute~” He gives him a small smooch on his forehead.

Midnight blinks in surprise when the cat ears flick and he can feel it. He reaches up and touches them himself and they flick again, his eye light turns to a cute little star. He looks at Buni’s ears and starts petting them to see if he can feel it too. 

Buni’s eyelights turn to stars as he feels Midnight petting the bunny ears on his hood. He starts to purr again and hugs Mini. 

Nighty turns around and does _not_ coo at how cute they look or take a pic to show the boys later, nope not a thing he did at all. Midnight is nuzzling Buni, his little tail swaying like his tentacles would. 

Blue smiles at the two of them being overly adorable. Feeling slightly lonely, he reaches out to embrace Nighty, because dang it these two make him need at the very least a hug from his soulmate. 

Nighty smiles softly at Blue and shyly kisses his cheek, “let’s go back to the others I think most of them are waking up.” 

“YEAH, LET’S GO!” Blue blushes and is now extra happy. He scoops up the two soulfounds and grabs Nighty’s hand leaving the bathroom.

##### ~~~ 

Now Dust doesn’t get drunk easily…

That was an absolute lie. He definitely does. And he does the _dumbest_ shit while drunk. 

There's actually a small notebook that Killer keeps in his pockets of Dust’s dumbass shenanigans. And reviewing it is a fucking _trip._

There’s the time he married a squirrel, the time he fell off of the roof and into Momma Nootmare’s fish pond, (he then proceeded to make out with the koi. Don’t. Ask. Why.) the time he was absolutely convinced that he was a bush...ahh...good times…

In his alcohol-induced cloudy mind, he looks back on these times with a fond smile. 

However, none of his awesome ideas that he won’t ever forget to hold a candle to his newest thing to add to Killers list.

_Karaoke._

With a twist!  
  
The old lyrics? Boring. Forgetful. Dumb.

 _His_ lyrics? New. Exciting. Bold. A fuckton of fun.

The only problem is that he doesn’t remember the original songs too well. So when a verse comes up that he doesn’t know the words to...he just replaces the words with profanities.

“On the four-wait no-fifth- fuck- umm- DAYS of uhh CHRISTMAS, my uhh soulmate gave to ME-”

What follows after is a profanity-laden sentence that would make Fresh faint. Dust ends it abruptly by laughing uproariously. He takes another sip of nog before starting again, eyes twinkling playfully.

He sings many ‘songs’. Including, “Momma Nootmare got run over by a reindeer”, (the newest hit single in which Noots punches the reindeer and sues Santa for drunk driving and damages) “Deck the halls'', which featured Dust actually punching the walls, and his current favorite, “Frosty the himbo.”

“Frooostyy the himbo~ Was a mother fuckin bitch~!”

Error groans loudly as he walks past. “CaN YoU ShUt tHe fUcK Up? YoU SoUnD LiKe a dYiNg tOaStEr oVeN.”

“As soon as I find out which Error said that,” Dust says with narrowed eyes. “I’m gonna whoop ya. After this next rendition of “All I Want For Christmas Is Food’.”

Error rolls his eyes and leaves to brood on the fridge again. Just as Dust begins to sing a terrible amalgamation of Frosty the Himbo and All I want for Christmas is Food, he hears something from the floor.

Soft groaning from the floor interrupts his singing as Killer wakes up. “Waz happenin?”

“My AMAZING singing!”

##### “Yer gonna wake boss and Moss thoooo” is his sleepy reply 

##### “Good! They should be glad to hear such a symphony. Next up is ‘Let it Hoe,’ a combination of Let it Snow, and my new original song ‘Cross is a Hoe.’ Let’s begin.”

##### Killer groans and tries to bury himself in tentacles, it only works somewhat.

##### ~~~ 

It would only make sense that the eggnog that can get monsters incredibly drunk would work on humans too. And it seems to be stronger for humans. 

Monika has only had two cups so far, and she’s feeling _great_.

“Hey Axxxeeeee?”

Axe looks up from his cup and over to bae. He’s a bit buzzed, but definitely not drunk yet. Monika on the other hand looks really out of it. He tilts his head slightly as he watches Monika.

She rests her head on the tabletop. “I hate to like...tell you this…but…”

Axe freezes up as he hears her speak. “Uhh… W-what is it?” No she’s not gonna… break up with him? A million different thoughts run through his mind as he tries to listen to her.

“Axe… you’re really cute but...I’m _dating_ someone…”

Wait, “What?”

“Yeah...and he’s really sweet too~ I like im alot.”

Either she’s really drunk or she’s _really_ drunk, and Axe is very confused about which one it is. “...Does he have a name?”

“Yeah...but I don’t rememberrrr. He’s really cute, though. And he has a hole in his head. And one red eye that's really pretty,” she rambles. She plays with the rim of her cup absentmindedly.

Axe is trying his very hardest to not burst out laughing right now. “....Is his name… Axe?”

She lifts her head. “Y-yeah! Do you know hi- Oh there you are, bae! Hi!”

“Hi bae. Glad you remember me.”

“I’m happy that you’re here,” she tells him seriously. “There was another guy here earlier talking to me, and I think he was interested. He was sitting _riiiight_ where you are actually.”

Axe stifles a laugh. “He was? Don’t worry bae, I’d protect you.” He reaches out and hugs her.

She melts at the hug, almost falling into his lap. “My heroooooooo~”

He makes sure she doesn’t fall. After a moment of compilation, he pecks her forehead.

Monika giggles, her cheeks redding even more and she clumsily reaches up to boop his nasal ridge. “You’re cute.”

Axe’s cheeks flush. “Wha- n-no you.” 

Monika laughs before closing her eyes. Seconds pass and she quickly falls asleep on his lap, successfully trapping him. 

“Baaaaeee…” He complains as he doesn’t do anything to try and move her.

Error speaks from the top of the fridge. “YoU TwO ArE CuTe aNd gRoSs aT ThE SaMe tImE. sToP It.” He pelts Axe with popcorn.

##### ~~~ 

Buni is… conflicted to say the least. He wants to just relax with his mate, but is also worried about big him. He would ask, but him and Mini are in the middle of a conversation, and interrupting people is rude, which is not what Buni is.

Midnight leans on him and softly nuzzles him, “What is bothering you? And don’t say nothing, you both have the same ‘thinking’ face.”

Buni huffs, annoyed that Midnight can read him so easily. “Blue… That Doesn’t Look Like Normal Sickness. I Don’t Know A Lot, But When Axe Had Gotten Sick His Magic Didn’t Look Dark.”

Midnight sighs, “It’s not normal. Blue had it before I was made and it has gotten worse lately. I… nevermind.” Midnight looks away nervous. 

“Mini? Are _You_ Okay?” Buni nuzzles Midnight before lightly pecking his cheek. “You Can Tell Me, Love.”

“Well… I think that I might have made whatever it is worse… Blue mostly just had like a flu but the longer he’s had me it just never got better.”

“Midnight…” He frowns, and waits a bit to try and collect his thoughts, though it only helps a little bit. “You Shouldn’t Blame Yourself… I Don’t Think You Being Around Him Made It Worse. Big Me Would Never Blame You Either.”

Midnight curls up a little, “I know, it’s just hard seeing how bad he gets sometimes, it can go for an hour or more sometimes.”

Buni cups Mini’s cheek. “It’s Alright, Love. There Are Doctors And Stuff Right? I’m Sure If Anything, Those People Can Help Him. You Probably Make Him Feel Better Whenever You're Around… Cause You Make Me Really Happy Too.” He starts to purr, hoping it will calm him down.

Mini’s eyelight wobbles a bit and turns into a little heart and he purrs back before getting back on track. “I have to get him to _talk_ to someone, only Nighty knows because he has no concept of doors. Even his ‘best friends’ don’t know, but that could just be them being dumb.”

He rather not disclose secret information about himself… but this is for a good cause! “Keep Bothering Him About It. Mention It When He’s With His Friends. Peer Pressure Is Helpful Sometimes.”

“As if Dream would listen or even be around me willingly.” He covers Buni’s hand on his cheek and nuzzles it.

“I never said willingly.”

He huffs out a laugh, “What am I supposed to do, get in his skull and talk like an echo chamber until he listens?”

“That's What I Do! Well, I Don’t Get In His Skull But Riiiiiight Up On His Skull.”

“... is that to get your point across or just because you like holding our face?”

Buni giggles. “Both~!” To Prove His Point, He Takes His Free Hand And Holds Onto His Other Cheek. “Sorry Not Sorry, But You’re Too Cute To Resist!”

“Mmmmnope only see one cute skelly, and he is right here.” He boops Buni’s cheek  
  
Buni pouts and moves forward to smooch Midnight's nasal ridge. “Noooo You’re Cuuuuute! With And Without Goopy Stuff, You’re The Cutest Skeleton Of Them All.”  
  


“Oooh so I’m not cute goopy?” he teases 

“Wha- Nooo! You’re Always Cute! You Are The Cutest No Matter What!” 

Mini smiles and sticks his tongue put at Buni. “I was just teasing you~ I know I’m cute.”

“Hmmph. You’re Mean…” He glares at Midnight. “You’re Lucky You're So Cute Or I Would Be Upset.”

“Are you sure about that? Last I checked you and Blue _like_ big and scary~ I think Ink said it makes you go _‘doki doki’_?”

Buni’s face quickly turns bright blue. “T-thats Not True! Nope, Not At All! Big And Scary Does Not At All Make Me Flustered!” He’s such a good liar.

Midnight grins widely showing off some fangs Buni didn’t notice before. The next thing Buni knows is he is on his back and Mini over him grinning like Killer would. “Oh?~ So this does nothing to you?”

“U-uhm…” Buni isn’t sure what he should do in this sort of situation, all he knows is that Midnight is very mean. He needs to remember to get payback later. “Q-quiet! I-It’s Not Cause You’re Very Intimidating At All!” He doesn’t even realize how his eyelights have turned to small hearts.

Midnight moves a bit so the light behind him casts his face in shadow and he brightens his eyelight making it go into a slit. “Are you sure? That's not what your emotions are saying~” he makes his voice deeper a bit.

“Uh, Well, U-uhm…” How? Is He Meant To React? To This? “...M-Maybe A L-little..?”

He leans down trying to be as scary as possible without the goop, “Good~” He gives Buni a quick kiss and moves to sit by him like he didn’t just do all _that_. “A little fear is good for you.”

Buni tries to make out a response, but with how overwhelmed he is, he just sits up and hides his face in Midnight's chest.

Midnight hugs him, nuzzling his skull, “Aww was I too mean love?”

“...No.” He pouts and looks back up at Midnight. He leans forward and properly kisses Mini, _not at all_ because of what happened, nope. He just wants kisses, that's all.

He purrs, kissing back when he hears Blue start to have a coughing fit again, he stops and looks over worried but it stops after Nighty holds him. He didn’t even cough up magic this time.

Buni frowns and glances over before nuzzling Midnight again. “It’s Alright Love, Nighty’s Got Him.” He’s worried too, but like he thought, they made him feel better.

“That's the weird thing tho,” he is squinting at them and muttering, “every time Blue is sick and Nighty shows up it just goes away? It’s happened a few times now…”

“Maybe It’s Like What I Had Said Before. You Two Help Him. You're Both A Part Of Him And Make Him Feel Better.”

Midnight almost says it could also be their fault when a voice pipes up behind them, “As cute and grossly adorable as this is I have a thing I need your help with.” He jumps and turns to see Killer's empty sockets eye level with them.

“Oh Killer, Hi.” Normally, he would be more happy to see Nighty’s right hand man, but right now he just wants to hug Midnight.

“... How long have you been here?”  
  
“Too long. _Anyway_ I need help.”

Buni sighs. “...Who Are You Trying To Prank?” 

“Not a prank… for now.” He holds up the bucket of Nighty’s goop, “What happens if I dump this on someone? Mama Noots would get mad if I hurt one of the others using this.”

Blue hums. “I’m Not Sure, But I Know It Wouldn’t Hurt Anyone. Probably. Nighty’s Goop Is Only Dangerous If He’s Angry.” He giggles and pokes one of the ears on Midnight’s outfit. “He’s A Cat.”

Mini swats at his hand pouting. He gets up and walks to the edge to look in the bucket, “It should be fine just make them feel very cold for a few hours or something. The only ones it doesn’t seem to bother are other Nightmares and apparently our soulmates.”

...only a few moments ago he had wanted to get revenge, but is this mean to do? Then again, Midnight was pretty mean too. He walks over to the edge as well, right behind Midnight. “So It Wouldn’t Be Bad If You Were To Somehow Fall In It Right?” 

“No? It might be Nighty’s but we are kinda the same person, why?”

Buni stays silent and instead just pushes Midnight over the edge and into the bucket of goop.

Midnight lands and sinks with a -plop- and Killer tilts the bucket to look in it, “Woooow, That was stone cold little Blue.” He looks up and grins at him, “I’m so proud.”

“It’s His Fault! He Deserved It.” Buni giggles and carefully watches the bucket, juuust in case.

It ripples and tentacles fling out and grab Buni.

Huh. This is not good is it. “I-I’m Sorry Mini…???” 

A now goopy Mini climbs out the bucket still in the cat pajamas, looks like Error’s strings are goop-proof, good to know. He gets up close to Buni, his eye light glowing brightly. “...Buni...”

“Yyyyyyeaaaah…?” He tilts his head, feigning ignorance while also panicking. Why is Midnight both cute and hot? This is not fair.

He smiles sharply and all his tentacles wrap around Buni, “... I can give the good hugs now.” He happily nuzzles him purring.

Killer has to sit on the floor laughing, “Omg your face! HAHAHAHA”

“Y-You Can Always Give Good Hugs.” He would pat the tentacles, but his hands are kinda stuck. He glares at Killer, feeling more embarrassed. “S-shush! You Leave And Do Whatever Crimes You Were Planning To Commit!"

“Pff oh I will, have fun~” Killer leaves with whatever goop is still in the bucket. Midnight just settles down with Buni moving him to sit in his lap and purring, looks like with the goop back he is even more love-y.

##### ~~~

The party seems to be winding down slightly. Momma Noots, having just woke up, looks slightly sober now but still won’t let go of Moss, who continues to sleep. Axe and Monika are still in the kitchen, and by the looks of it Axe is stuck with her on his lap. The others are all just sitting around, chattering.

_Stomp stomp stomp BAM-_

The door suddenly flies off of its hinges and in stomps two new monsters. “HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKERS!!”

Noots groans, holding one hand to his head. “Oh no…”

Through the doorway stomps two skeletons. Stone and Sketch.

Stone, also known as Fell Fresh, is an honorary member of the bad guys family. Different from his normal spiky red hoodie and shorts, today he’s wearing a very sharp looking Santa suit, with spikes, chains, and wayyy too much black. On his head is a santa hat, with the end pom pom covered in spikes. He carries a large sack thrown over one shoulder.

The second is Sketch, a Fell Ink. Aside from looking _incredibly_ drunk, Sketch is decked out with christmas lights, along with his normal outfit.

After Noot’s exclamations, two things fall to the ground. One is the sack Stone was holding (out of which falls many worms on strings with angry eyebrows and angry looking furbies) and the other is Sketch, who immediately starts snoring. Stone looks down at him. “Oof. Santa’s lil helper couldn’t handle his holiday cheer.” He looks up at the room and places two fists on his hips. “Anyway, we brought some FUCKIN PRESENTS SO-” he kicks his friend on the floor. “Bro what was I gonna say?”

Noots looks stern. “Stoner Unfresh Sans _the_ parasite, what do you think you’re doing?”

Stone shoots some finger guns. “Crashin parties!”

“And _what_ did I say about doing that?”

“To do it more often so that ya can see ya favorite angry 90s fresh rat?”

Noots nods. “Exactly come give me a hug.”

“Ewww gloopy hug.”

Nighty is standing in front of Blue and the soulfounds watching this strange… not Fresh to see if he is a danger to them.

Blue pokes Nighty’s shoulder to get his attention. “I THINK EVERYTHING'S FINE, NIGHTY. OTHER YOU- UH, NOOTS SEEMS TO LIKE HIM.”

Killer pops up beside Blue (again) out of nowhere, “Aww ya don’t have to worry about Stone, he’s harmless… mostly” 

Blue, being already used to how his multiverse Killer appears randomly, was not at all phazed by him. “SEE? EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT!” He doesn’t like how Killer said ‘mostly’, buuuut for the sake of not being trapped here for the rest of the day, he ignores it.

Nighty nods and tries to hold Blue behind him but his tentacles can’t wrap around him so they just pap at him.

He pats Nighty’s smol tentacles and grabs his hand again, but like super sneaky. He’ll never notice. 

Stone finishes hugging Noots and turns to the rest of the room. He notices Blue and Nighty. “Woah! Rad!! Normally I would question this, but I’m so fuckin high right now I can’t even _see_ straight!”

“I Never See Straight.” Blue mutters to himself. “HELLO, STONE RIGHT? IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU!”

Stone shoots fingerguns at him before looking at Nighty. “What’s wrong? Never seen a Fell Fresh, before?”

“No I’ve never had the… displeasure of meeting one.” Nighty hides the soulfounds from him, not trusting a parasite around the soul shards in them.

Buni pouts but stays hidden, only because he is too comfortable hugging Midnight to care much. Midnight is busy petting Buni’s bunny ears purring at how soft they are, is the tail soft?

Stone laughs. “You mean you neva had the _pleasure_ of meetin’ one! I’m a fuckin _joy_ to be around! Also don’t think I didn’t notice the soulfounds, broski. Never fear, fam; I ain’t interested in shards.”

Nighty starts to build up a growl at him mentioning the souldfounds but just glares at him a bit before _slightly_ relaxing, if the Fresh Parasite hates lying it might be true for this… odd variant of him.

Blue squeezes Nighty’s hand and gives him a (hopefully) reassuring smile.

Stone smirks. “Don’t worry broski, I ain’t lyin. I may be an asshole, but I’m an honest asshole.”

He then seems to notice Killer for the first time. “Gasp! Rat nephew!”

“Rat uncle!” Killer blips slightly above Stone to grab him in a one armed noogie holding his Santa hat in his hand to not drop it. “I go by Ratthew now”

“As ya should!” Stone laughs before extending his hand. “Secret rat handshake?”

Killer grins and lets him go starting the handshake and juggling the hat at the same time.

After the complicated handshake which consists of many hand motions and ends with a slap to the face, Noots interrupts them. “Wait, Ratthew? What’s up with that?”

Killer has his sharp rat grin on and holds up his phone, “Oh, don’t tell me you forgot my new name boss~” he hits play and they start to hear Noots voice talking.

_“Hey boss~ Moss is a great pillow huh?”_

_“Onions are always good pillows, Ratthew. Onion boy is fluffy boy.”_

_“On-onion boy?? Is he not Moss anymore?”_

_“He can be both, Ratthew. He’s an onion cause like, layers. He has a lot of pants.”_

Noots looks horrified.

Killer holds his phone to his chest and dramatically leans on Stone, “Oh, how could you forget bestowing the name Ratthew and Moss to me and Cross. Mama Noots loves us not Stone, how sad!”

Noots, looking embarrassed, starts to speak but is cut off by Dust pointing at Sketch. “What’s up with him?”

Stone kicks at his limp form again. “Well this is like, our third party of the night. And broski can’t handle his fun drink.”

Dust looks slightly concerned. “Should we...move him?”

“Nahhhhh he’s havin a great time practicing his doormat impression.”

Blue frowns. He lets go of Nighty’s hand and starts walking over towards the other skeleton on the ground. He looks at him for a moment before scooping him off of the ground and walking over to the living room, all while saying nothing to the rest of them.

Stone watches him go before calling out. “Watch for the spikes!” He reaches for the bag he dropped earlier. “Anyway, presents! Explosive shit!”

Blue is slightly interested hearing that there are explosives but hides his excitement as he lays the skeleton on the couch.

Noots sighs. “Just don’t like, blow up the living room for something.”

Killer walks over very excited to see what they can get into.

Nighty feels Blue’s excitement and just keeps the soulfounds with him, Blue can have his fun.

Stone begins to pass around miniature furbies. “These have enough power to knock down doors! More specifically Momma Noot’s door.”

He hands a handful of worms on strings to Killer. “These are also explosive.”

Blue rushes back over in order to see what else explodes. He’s being sneaky so no one notices him watching.

Stone, noticing Blue, hands him a large furby wearing sunglasses. “Super explosive.”

Dust looks down at his furby and begins to poke it.

Blue is kinda sad he was found, but at the same time, explosives! “YAY! I’VE BEEN WANTING TO BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR A WHILE!”

Dust holds the furby up to his eye and squints at it. “How do you even make it-”  
_BOOM!_

The smoke cloud floats away, leaving Dust covered in soot. “...oh.”

Nighty is concerned and goes to ask them to go outside when a series of small explosions go off on Killer. 

B-B-B-BOOM!

Killer is covered in soot and holding many strings that are kinda on fire. -wheeze- -cough cough-

Noots sighs a long suffering sigh. “Can you all just...do this outside?”

Dust, still covered in soot, speaks. “But Noooots! It’s cold out there!”

“UHM, IT’S PROBABLY SAFER OUTSIDE ANYWAY… IT’S NOT TOO COLD.”

Stone laughs. “Yeah! And if we blow up enough shit, we’ll be plenty warm!”

Nighty sighs and walks past Blue giving him a kiss on the cheek, “Have fun and try to keep them alive.” he sits by Sketch on the sofa.

Blue’s reaches up to where Nighty had kissed him, his face now very blue. Ha, he’s living up to his name. “R-RIGHT! I CAN DO THAT!”

Stone gathers up the rest of the bag and heads for the door, or rather, where the door would be if he hadn’t kicked it off of the hinges a while prior. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand! Literally!”

Killer shakes like a wet rat and follows after trailing soot. “I want to see the Giftmas tree fly~”

Blue quickly follows them, now more than fully energized, which is dangerous since he has been given access to dangerous explosives. “LET'S DESTROY THE FOREST WITH BOMBS!!!”

Stone snickers. “Hell yea.” 

Once they’re all out the door, the room is shockingly quiet. Momma Nootmare sighs once more.

Now outside, Stone starts to hand out more explosives. “Alright Blue, if you want to blow up _that_ tree over there,” he says, pointing to a nearby tree. “You’re gonna want...ehhh...two worms, and one furby. Got it?"

“ALRIGHT! THAT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM FOR ME!” As he grabs the worms, he can’t help but wonder, what is he meant to do again? Is this the throw boom bomb or the tnt type bomb?

Dust snatches a furby from the sack before _yeeting_ it at a tree a few feet away from him. It explodes against the trunk, but doesn’t move the tree. Frowning, Dust grabs more furbies and begins to throw them in rapid succession.

Huh. Well, that answers that. Blue takes his bombs and turns to the tree Stone had pointed too. The chucks the bombs all at the tree, watching in child-like joy when it blows up.

Stone whoops before handing more bombs to Blue. “Have another go, broski! This time with the hella explosive ones!”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY DREAM AND INK BANNED ME FROM USING EXPLOSIVES. THIS IS GREAT!” He takes the bombs and throws them at more trees, watching as they explode in front of his eyes. It’s an amazing sight.

Stone snickers, taking some bombs of his own and throwing them at the same tree Dust is chipping away at. The tree cracks before falling to the left, making a wonderful cacophony of noise. Dust yells in delight before jumping on the fallen tree. “YEAH!”

Blue cheers for the two, watching in glee as the tree falls. “FUCK YEAH! THIS IS AWESOME!!” He didn’t even notice the profanity slipping out.

Stone doesn’t even bat an eye, he only continues to explode trees, random bushes, and rocks. He hands the entire sack to Killer. “Here, go wild.”

Killer grins and diggs around to get a bunch of worms and tie their strings together to make one long string of explosives. “Ayy Blue!”

Blue looks over to Killer before seeing what is in his hands. “OOH! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT?”

“ _We_ are goin to tie it around a tree like Giftmas lights and set it off” :D Killer offers the other end to Blue. “How fast can you climb a tree?”

“ _VERY_ FAST!”

“Heh than you better start climbin~” 

##### ~~~ 

Inside, Noots is studying his alternate self. Now that he’s mostly sober, he can think better about their situation. “So…”

Nighty looks up from the Cross pillow to his other self. “yes?”

Noot has many questions, sure, but at the moment he can’t seem to focus on a specific one. “Umm…”

Nighty huffs “Good to know we both still suck at small talk after all the years.”

Noots snorts. His alternate self seems to have the same sense of humor. Well, what could they talk about…

“What’s your Dream like?” Noots asks.

Nighty sighs, “well he is very protective of Blue but doesn't always do what's best for him just what keeps him ‘safe’. He spends _a lot_ of time helping others even if he shouldn’t or it's not good for him.” 

Noots nods. “Sounds like my Dream. Are you...on good terms with yours?”

“...No. He distrusts me greatly and I found out he thinks I would keep my soulmate in a dirty dungeon like some kind of bad guy.” Nighty gently pets the cuddling soulfounds in his lap.

Noots looks offended. “Who would DO that? We may be bad guys, but we wouldn’t keep someone as important as a soulmate in a _dungeon_!”

“He… does not hold me in any high regards, I was hoping to one day be brothers again but it doesn't seem likely at the moment.”

Noots crosses his arms and looks to the side. “Well...have you _talked_ to him? Face to face, over call, in a letter, _anything?_ My Dream is big on communication.”

“I had _written_ several letters but… I couldn’t send any of them. I was afraid how he would react.”

“Well _that’s_ your problem! You need to man up and send em! They won’t do any good just sitting there. I don’t think he’ll react badly.”

Nighty is lightly poking the cat ears on Mini’s pjs watching them twitch. “You are probably right, Dream was always on me about being honest with him as kids.” 

One of Noot’s tentacles flick. “Same here. Honesty is one of his best qualities. He looks up to it. I’m sure he’ll want to make up if you two get all honest and feeling-sy.”

“Heh ‘feeling-sy’? I doubt that's a real word.”

Noots rolls his eyelight. “Shush, me. I only _just_ got sober. You can’t expect me to be all eloquent and shit like you are.”

Nighty shakes his head chuckling, “Being a better speaker aside, I doubt Dream will be so willing to listen after all,” he waves a hand gesturing to the room.” _this_ madness is over. Time is weird between AUs so I fear how long we’ve _actually_ been gone.”

Noots looks at Cross and Sketch, who are using each other as pillows. “I wouldn’t worry about that. Stuff like this has happened before. When you get back, I estimate maybe...three or four hours would have passed? Eh I don’t know. Just don’t sweat.”

“Hopefully you're right, he already keeps Blue away from me as is, I would hate to never be able to see him again.” He pets the soulfounds again.

Noots scoffs. “I know you’re the King of Negativity and all that shit but lighten up a little. You’ll be fine.”

“Right right, sorry.” Noots begins to speak, but is cut off by a tremendous BOOM-  
The soulfounds squeak and hug each other, both shocked by the sudden loud noise.  
Nighty goes to raise his tentacles but just looks like a puffed up cat crouched over the soulfounds protectively, eyelight a startled slit  


Noots just sighs and sags into his seat, trying to sink into the couch.

Deranged laughter from outside gets closer before the four skeletons come inside, all wearing matching grins. 

Noots groans. “How much of the yard did you destroy this time?”

Killer looks very proud. “A decent amount, mostly the trees tho.”

Stone shoots some finger guns. “My fam is p good with bombs. Especially Lil Blue here,” he gestures at Blue.

Blue immediately runs at Nighty and hugs him. “STARS, THAT WAS SO COOL! THAT WAS THE MOST MAGNIFICENT EXPLOSION EVER!” Blue couldn’t keep his voice down even if he tried. He’s somehow louder than normal.

Nighty quickly moves the soulfounds to his side and, slightly dazed, un-puffs and hugs Blue back. “O-oh? That's nice Blue, glad you have a great time?”

“THANK YOU!” Blue nuzzles Nighty while vibrating from excitement. He feels like he could take down, like, a god or something! “YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT! THE WAY IT EXPLODED, HOW LOUD IT WAS, IT WAS AMAZING!”

Nighty sets the soulfounds on the still sleeping Sketch and moves Blue to his lap to hold him still. “Hearing that was enough excitement for me sunshine. But I think the boys back home would gladly do that with you sometime… away from the castle and garden, please.”

“YAY, MORE BOMBS! WE’LL STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM YOUR GARDEN AS POSSIBLE.”   
Dust, still giggling sits on the couch with a -whump!- “I don’t know about you all, but all this excitement warrants some more nog. Who else wants some?”  
Blue’s hand shoots up to the sky. “ME! I AM DETERMINED TO GET DRUNK TODAY! IT WILL HAPPEN, I SWEAR!”

Nighty holds Blue tighter thinking of how Buni got, “Are you sure Blue?”

Killer walks to the doorway, “so a cup for Dust, uh anyone else want one?”

“IT WILL BE FINE, NIGHTY. WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?” Blue seems to have forgotten how Buni had gotten when drunk.

Stone perks up at the mention. “Nog?” he reaches over to nudge Sketch. “Bro! It’s time to get drunk again!” He walks to the doorway as well. “I’ll help, Ratthew!”

Nighty grabs the soulfounds as Sketch starts to move around.

Sketch wakes up slowly, before noticing what he’s holding so tightly. Also known as Moss. With an undignified yelp and pushes him away, making Moss fall to the floor.

Blue, noticing Nighty is distracted with the soulfound, hops off of Nighty’s lap and books it to the kitchen. “MWEHEHEHEHEH!!!!” He is determined to get his alcohol.

Cross wakes up as he falls to the floor. He blinks sleepily.

“Blue No!” Nighty tries to get up but can’t do much, holding the soulfounds and trying to not get hit by Sketch moving back from Cross.

“BLUE _YES_!”

Killer shakes his head and goes to the kitchen before getting an idea and going to the doorway from Axe and Monika’s kiss. He snags the mistletoe and then goes to the kitchen, not planning anything at all.

Stone notices and chuckles. “I like your style. Put it above da nog, bro.”

Nighty gets off the sofa and passes the soulfounds gently to Noots. “Hold them please and thank you.” he quickly goes after Blue.

Noots stares at the soulfounds. “Uhh...hi there.”

The soulfounds wave up at Noots. “Hello There, Other Other Nightmare!!”

Blue is too busy chugging the eggnog to notice anything happening around him. He’s had… maybe three cups? Four? He must be on his fifth then right?

Killer has the mistletoe above Blue with a bone attack and stands back to watch how this plays out.

Nighty enters the room and goes to stop Blue from filling his cup again, “I think that’s quite enough Blue, the others want some and you’ll feel bad if you drink more.”

“NNNO! I WON’T FEEL BAD! BUT UH, I SHOULD LEAVE SOME…” Blue pouts. He wants more, the eggnog is yummy! He can’t believe he’s never had any before.

Stone slips in and takes a cup before retreating to stand next to Killer. He takes a sip before making a small surprised noise. “This...is some strong eggnog! How much did you all spike this?”

Killer thinks, “The normal amount over half a bottle of Grillb’s whisky, why?”

“NOPE! THERE’S ALSO UH… MINI! MINI’S GOOP! HEHE, IT’S EXTRA SPIKED~!” Blue slurs before giggling.

Stone looks down to his cup. “No, I think this may have been spiked more than twice.”

Nighty rolls his eyelight and takes the cup from Blue’s hands and holds him. “Let's get you back to a seat okay? Hopefully, water can help this.”

Blue leans on Nighty and pouts.“BUT NIGHTYYYY I WANNA TALK TO… ERM…” Blue mumbles and tries to remember something. “STONER? I DUNNO.”

Killer smiles, “heyy Blue~ look up~”

“HMM?” Blue looks up above his head, only to see a mistletoe there. A… mistletoe. Above him and Nighty. His skull flushes more than before as he glares at Killer.

Confused, Nighty looks up, “Oh? What a weird place for a mistletoe, normally they are outside for animals.”

“ANIMALS..? WHY WOULD THEY BE THERE?”

Nighty looks excited to teach Blue something, “Mistletoes are often considered pests that kill trees and devalue natural habitats, but some species have recently been recognized as ecological keystone species, organisms that have a disproportionately pervasive influence over their community. A broad array of animals depend on mistletoe for food.-” Nighty is just holding Blue and not moving from under the mistletoe.

Blue blinks, trying his hardest to process Nighty’s words, though struggling too. Okay… maybe he is a bit buzzed. Though either Nighty doesn’t know what it means to be under the mistletoe with someone, or he’s just purposely being mean. Even while Nighty is talking smarts, he still looks extremely cute. And handsome. And just _amazing_. He nods to pretend like he’s listening when really, all he wants to do is kiss this fool.

Nighty is smiling and _still talking_ , “When eaten, some seeds pass unharmed through their digestive systems; if the birds’ droppings happen to land on a suitable branch, the seeds may stick long enough to germinate. As the plants mature, they grow into masses of branching stems which suggest the popular name ‘witches’ brooms’-”

He’s still talking about smart stuff. It’s frustrating how much he wants to kiss him, yet he just continues talking. It’s not like Blue would normally mind. Hearing Nighy talk about literally anything could be entertaining, but right now? He just wants him to stop so he can smooch him.

...You know what? He’s gonna do it anyway. In the middle of Nighty speaking, Blue stands on his toes and lightly kisses Nighty on the corner of his mouth. He kind of missed his goal, but whatever. After he pulls away he rests his head on Nighty’s chest, extremely proud of himself. “NERD.”

Nighty seems to have stopped working, he is just holding Blue and blushing brightly, his fun facts forgotten. He hears Killer go “Aww~” and hugs Blue tighter and nuzzles his skull purring quietly but Blue can feel it.

Blue hums. “CUTE. YOU’RE REALLY CUTE, YOU KNOW.” He murmurs, nuzzling Nighty back as well.

Nighty feels warmth in his chest for a brief moment but doesn't pay any attention to it, his tentacles wiggling happily.

Killer and Stone high five and Killer leaves the room snagging more nog with blue magic.

Stone does the same, intent on leaving the two alone.

##### ~~~ 

A couple of hours have passed since the Giftmas party had started, and pretty much everyone is extremely drunk. Killer and Sketch are passed out on the floor while Dust is also laying down with them. But he’s not asleep, he’s been ‘singing’ every carol he could think of. Which isn’t a lot, so he’s been repeating the same ones. Monika had gotten extremely tired after a small while, so Axe had taken her to a bed, and the two are now sound asleep.

Noots is still watching over the two soulfounds, but now both of them are asleep as well. They decided it was a great idea to fall asleep cuddling on Noot’s hand. Nighty would have come to help the other him, but he’s been too busy. Specifically with Blue who is resting in his lap while purring and nuzzling him. 

And Stone? Who knows what he’s doing. Though, considering this is Stone, he had probably smoked some candy canes before drawing on Killer and Sketch’s skulls. Who else would have drawn on them?

Error, now off the fridge, walks into the room with Killer’s notebook and is writing in it. He walks over to Nighty and tears out the paper he was writing on, “HeRe, YoU’Ll bE LeAvInG SoOn aNd tHiS ShOuLd hElP Ya bAcK HoMe.” He walks over to Noot and lifts the soulfounds up in his strings and puts them in Nighty’s hood and Blue’s scarf.

Nighty is confused but settles Buni in his hood safely and fixes Midnight for Blue. He carefully gets up and looks around holding Blue in a koala carry. “Uh, where is my... goop?”

Blue hums. “HEHE, WHAT IF KILLER DRANK IT ALL..? OR DUST…” He giggles. “THEY SAID THEY WANTED TOO.”

Error shrugs, “Killer put it somewhere but we can’t ask him about it.” Nighty just sighs and looks at Noot, “I am sorry for any trouble they cause with my goop.”

Noots sighs. “Just another day at the cabin, I guess. I’ll make sure they don’t get...too weird with it.”

Suddenly, a soft mechanical-like noise appeared. It slowly gets louder, but not as loud as last time. It almost sounds as if there is someone typing something on a computer keyboard. After a couple of seconds, a white swirly portal appears, this time in front of them.

“OOOOH, PRETTY. I WANNA GO IN IT.” He reaches over to try and poke the portal, but also doesn’t wanna move away from Nighty, so he’s just stretching his arms towards the glowing portal.

Nighty chuckles and nuzzles Blue’s cheek, “Don’t worry we will, we just have to say goodbye first.” Nighty turns to the others, “thanks for helping us and sorry for any trouble we caused.” 

Noots yawns. “No trouble at all. This was amusing if anything.”

Blue yawns and nuzzles Nighty and closes his eyes. “When We’re Home, We’re Cuddling. No Saying No.”

Nighty turns to the portal, “Of course love, we’ll cuddle.” He kisses his cheek and walks in the portal and into Blue’s house. He walks to Blue’s room and helps Blue get out of his boots and the tacky sweater, he sets the soulfounds on a pillow and gets Blue under the covers, and snuggles up against him.

Blue purrs as he quickly starts to fall asleep. “Nighty Night…”

Nighty gives him a soft nuzzle, “Nighty night.”

~~on the other side~~

The portal closes and Noots turns to Error. The two maintain eye contact for a moment before Noots finally speaks. “...that was wack.”

Error looks down to the spot where the portal was. “ThE CrEaToRs aRe wAcK.”

Noots hums in agreement before casting his eye to the rest of the room, where most of his boys lie sleeping. “We should get these ones to bed now.”

Error snorts. “YeAh. At fOuR In tHe mOrNiNg.”

The gloopy skeleton flips him off before picking up Killer with his tentacles. “Can you get Dust?”

The other nods and stoops to grab him under his arms. As they walk down the hall, Error speaks. “...ThAt wAs pReTtY FuN ThO.”

Noot’s smirks. “Yeah. It was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a fantastic Gyftmas! I'll try to get more chapters out very soon! Most of them only need a bit more before they're ready
> 
> HUGE THANKS TO FINALLY_FREE TO COLLABING WITH ME :D it was hella fun :3
> 
> Also just as huge thanks to my other amazing friend little_clown AKA Bean mom for being a right earner and a hella fine broski for planning, rping, writing and editing! Couldn'tve done it without y'all!
> 
> Join my Discord!
> 
> https://discord.gg/EWUD4Qu54U

**Author's Note:**

> Whatchu think? Tell me down below :D


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